Snakes and Sales

I’ve been trying to give you a little more than just “Hey lookey! Here is what I have coming out” blog posts. Though admittedly, I’m not always good at that. So today instead of just telling you about my upcoming book sales (I’ll get to that). I’m going to tell you about a guy who spent 72 hours with deadly snakes to prove they were friendly, and (spoiler alert) he survived. No joke, I read about it here.

I wasn’t actually all that surprised by it. Most wild animals are fairly indifferent to us until we start messing with them. That doesn’t mean you should finally take up juggling raw meat in lion country. It just means don’t mess with a wild animal to increase your chances of survival. But always remember, just because they are indifferent doesn’t mean they still won’t attack.

And now that I’ve shared that tidbit with you. Enjoy the entire Atmospheric Pressure series for $2. Then on August 1st. A metric shit ton (as opposed to the American measurement of shit) of my books will be on sale till the 7th of August. To see the full list. Go here and sort by price on August 1st.

Lastly, if you’ve read my Vellas and enjoyed them. Consider reviewing them? You can find them here.

I appreciate you being here.

An Ultimate Kindle Vella Readers Guide

I’ve been getting a lot of questions about Kindle Vella from a reader’s perspective because it is so new. So here’s my best to answer those questions.

First off, it only works on the Amazon website (and the IOS app) as far as I know. So if you have a phone with an Amazon or kindle app, you’ll need to pull up the link in your browser. You unlock the stories (starting with the 4th installment) with tokens.

Tokens – You get 200 for free just for trying it out. That’s enough to unlock episodes 4-12 of the barbarian story. After that, it costs money. But fear not, each story you unlock will cost you pennies. So to keep up with both of my stories it’s going to be at most 50 cents or so a week, most likely a quarter.

Thumbs-up – There is a thumbs up button on the bottom of every story. So if you really like something, you can thumb up every episode. This will surely play a role in the vella’s visibility on the site (which helps the author).

Faves – If you pay for tokens, you can start faving the serials you like the most once per week. Think of a fave as a super thumbs-up. That’s not only supporting the author you like, but also ensuring others will discover it.

International readers – I’m sorry peeps overseas, not yet. While I’m sure they will roll out Vella everywhere, it’s seems it’s only available in the US. 

That’s all I know for now. I’ll update this page when I know more, and here’s a reminder of the stories I have up on Vella right now:

My Three-Year-Old Is a Barbarian and Other Parenting Problems
Some jerkwad moon mage shoves the consciousness of Petra’s three-year-old into the body of a full-grown barbarian. Petra’s stuck in a halfling. There are pissed-off rangers, angry giants, a pompous vampire, and a necromancer out to kill her and her child. Despite being caught in a world where everything threatens to shuffle off her mortal coil, the hardest part is convincing a hulked-out man that the battle axe is not a toy, orcs are not cuddly, and that he should use the potty. New episodes every Friday.

The Theft
F hired me to do a straightforward job, but there was a slight snag in the operation when what I stole was stolen from me. Three goons showed up at my door to not so politely tell me that I have 24 hours to deliver F’s goods or my body will never be recovered. New episodes every Wednesday.

Thank you for your support. Here’s a cool barbarian picture:

Think of a three-year-old in the body of this guy. That’s my story.

My Three-Year-Old Is a Barbarian and Other Parenting Problems

My first comedy fantasy novel is now live on Kindle Vella which means you can start reading it today over here. Since this is a new product, there are a few things you should know. First off, if you enjoy what you read. Hit the thumbs up and fave buttons. You can only fave something once per week. You can thumb up anything. I’d appreciate some thumbs up and faves if you like what you’ve read.

Second, you need to buy tokens to read beyond the first three stories. Amazon will get you started with some free tokens, so it’s of no risk to you to check out the story. I have two Vellas up, and here are the descriptions (right after this cool picture of a barbarian):

Now on Kindle Vella.

My Three-Year-Old Is a Barbarian and Other Parenting Problems
Some jerkwad moon mage shoves the consciousness of Petra’s three-year-old into the body of a full-grown barbarian. Petra’s stuck in a halfling. There are pissed-off rangers, angry giants, a pompous vampire, and a necromancer out to kill her and her child. Despite being caught in a world where everything threatens to shuffle off her mortal coil, the hardest part is convincing a hulked-out man that the battle axe is not a toy, orcs are not cuddly, and that he should use the potty. New episodes every Friday.

The Theft
F hired me to do a straightforward job, but there was a slight snag in the operation when what I stole was stolen from me. Three goons showed up at my door to not so politely tell me that I have 24 hours to deliver F’s goods or my body will never be recovered. New episodes every Wednesday.

Also, Atmospheric Pressure 3 goes live tomorrow.

I appreciate you going with me on this journey and during this pivot. And if you’ve been enjoying what you read from me, now’s the time to hit those like and fave buttons. There is also a way to follow the story so you’ll get notified each time one drops. I probably won’t get another chance to be a part of the launch of a new platform, so I appreciate your help.

And please share the links with a friend.

Thank you for your support.

Last Call for Atmospheric Pressure 3

Atmospheric Pressure 3 is ready to go, and you have just four days to secure your Patreon members only edition. What’s special about it? First off, it’s all three books in one big volume (you can’t even buy all three for the patreon price). Second, it will be shipped early June, the digital version will be ready for download sooner than that. Third, your name will appear in the back as one of the people who so graciously help me pay for editors and cover artists.

Lastly, it’s a very limited print run. I only ship the amount of books I sell, then unpublish the Patreon edition forever. The Robin Hood of Couches special edition only has 5 in existence, and I even gave my copy away to a fan for being awesome, so there is a good chance I won’t even have a copy of the special edition of my own book! You have until May 25th to secure a copy here. After that, the chance to get all three Atmospheric Pressure novels for one low price is gone forever.

In the meantime. Enjoy the cover art. (I really love this one).

My Plans for Kindle Vella and a Free Story for Cinco de Mayo

It’s been a while since my last post. Despite my blog silence, I have three projects in various stages of completion. The one I’m most excited about is My Three-year-old is a Barbarian and Other Parenting Problems. It’s a comedy fantasy story that I started back around the time I was getting The Robin Hood of Couches finished. My completion of the story couldn’t come at a better time.

Amazon is introducing a new platform, and my story will be there on launch day. It’s called Vella, and while the idea is not new to the internet, it is new to Amazon and represents the opportunity for me to be there when the doors open for the first time. The cover artist who created the Atmospheric Pressure Three image is already well on his way to creating an image for the story. My editor is deep into editing it.

My hope is that you all will join me for the journey because it will be a different way to experience reading. First off, the story will be released in small chunks. Basically, it will be a chapter a week, but there should be plenty of chapters for you to devour when the doors open. The first three installments are free, but then there will be a pay wall for the rest. From what I can gather it shouldn’t be too much to continue reading, pocket change.

In the meantime, Atmospheric Pressure 3 is almost ready to go. Sign up at Patreon if you want the special edition that includes all three books in one volume and early access to the story. 

And now for some Cinco de Mayo freebies and fun! My horror novella, Desert During Day of the Dead, featuring cover artwork by a talented New Mexico artist will be free on kindle, among others. You can see the full list on my author profile and sorting by price.

In addition to the freebies, each book of the Time Burrito series will be 99 cents! It’s a great time to pick up an entire series for $3 or maybe gift them to a friend who you think might want some fun reading this summer.

I’ll be touch when the Kindle Vella is open to the public. In the meantime, have a ruckus Cinco de Mayo.