Time Burrito

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Teristaque

The number one space pirate in the galaxy…

…discovers she is the only one who can save it from utter decimation.

After stealing the most advanced Teristaque ship, Kal and her crew are pursued by an armada across the galaxy. Despite burning through space in the fastest vessel in the quadrant, there are too many factions after her to avoid them all.

Another spacecraft gets the drop on her. It’s Makiuarnek, the man who slaughtered her village, and he wants a truce.

There is evil brewing on her homeworld of Nigramoto, and the petty squabbles of the interstellar regimes are about to become inconsequential, and Kal is at the heart of it all.

She will either save all life in the galaxy or destroy it.

Time Burrito

**With great burrito comes great responsibility.**

Pete’s food truck at the University of New Mexico isn’t going well. Seniors dare freshman to eat his burritos. Frats use them for pledges and pranks. Rumors fly around campus that they are chupacabra ground up with rat.

Pete needs a change, and it comes in the form of a physics experiment gone awry. After being sucked into the past, he stumbles across an ingredient that goes great in one of his creations.

First, there was Marty McFly. Then there was Bill and Ted. And now Pete–

Tuners

Being too close to the truth got Jon Xiong’s mother killed.

While searching for answers, a murderous cult shows up at his door.

A secretive organization called the Tuners comes to his aide and teaches him about his rare ability to travel between worlds called tuning.

He grapples with his new superpower and is stuck between those who would maintain order in the multiverse and those who would destroy it.

Jon must avoid the same gruesome fate as his mom and figure out what happened to his family.

Atmospheric Pressure

**There is no where to run. There is no where to hide. The state is watching.**

Olson lives in a city that has been sealed from the outside world. He’s an Eleven Year and close to citizenship. His life is upended when one of the few adults who cares about him commits suicide – or so it appears at first.

While investigating, Olson meets a girl named Natalie snooping around his school. He soon learns that one of her friends died under similarly mysterious circumstances.

Together, they start looking for answers, and end up discovering the city’s darkest secrets.

Individual Titles

Orion is dead… again.

Whether death comes from a stab wound, a bullet to the brain, or just plain dumb luck, he always comes back.

He is glad to have the opportunity because a princess in each life seems to be in trouble. Whether she’s a nurse in the Vietnam War or medieval English royalty…

…Orion is determined to win her over.

A young, idealistic financial crimes investigator finds a body in a ditch.

Reese investigates corporate fraud and discovers some joker has been giving away free couches to the needy, because when a person can no longer afford the subscription service fees, all their furniture disappears.

The bearer of sofas ends up in a ditch when blunt force trauma snuffs out the poor’s best chance of not living in an empty room their whole life.

Reese rolls up his sleeves. Time to get to work… until a drone strike almost wipes him out.

Maybe he’s onto something bigger than he thought?

Every time a bell rings, an elf gets his Glock.

As one of Santa’s Elite Fixers, Jing spends most of his time waterboarding greedy toy manufacturers or responding to terrorists holding Rudolph for ransom.

While not on the job, he relaxes in the North Pole, a paradise where he can forget all the killing and bloodshed and curl up to some Christmas music and hot cocoa.

Until a rogue group of elves betrays Santa and threatens what should have been a pleasant Christmas.

An ancient evil lurks under the city of Albuquerque…

Caroline discovers a doorway in a drab brick building in the middle of a park in Albuquerque where she walks her dog every day. There wasn’t a door there before.

Murphy, a government agent approaches Caroline about what she saw.

It’s nicknamed the warehouse, and there’s an dark presence inside.

And it’s coming for Caroline…

After her grandmother’s death, Maria decides to take time off to connect with her heritage.

She celebrates Day of the Dead after discovering a painting of her grandmother in a Day of the Dead mask.

Maria leaves a meal out for the deceased but something else eats the offering.

There is something hidden and dark in the desert and it wants Maria.

I ate thy brains ere I killed thee…

Shakespeare’s classic tale of hubris, paranoia, and betrayal is reimagined against the darkly comedic backdrop of the post-apocalypse…

…and zombies.

There was no time to think. The time agents are on his heels.

Agent 07760 was on the run because he asked a simple question. “What’s the future like?”

There was much information about the past. Historians would travel back and record, but 07760 was not allowed to travel to the future.

Why was future travel restricted to some mysterious agency division?

Jed finds out some disturbing news after a DNA test. He is his own great great grandfather. However, Jed’s daily struggles involve video games and crippling self doubt. He’s not the time traveling pioneer type. He may as well try to get to the bottom of the mystery. It’s at least a reason to get off his couch.

Anna is the time traveling type and Jed’s ex-girlfriend. She finds herself in the Old West in a town terrorized by a man called the Gold Piece Bandit. Jed better get off his butt and help her. Although Anna has never been the type to let the men do all the shooting.

Kal’s Duty Sample Chapter

Grannork glared down at Hayden. The Orcandu’s breath assaulted the human’s nose with the smell of burnt meat. The hulking creature grabbed him by the scruff of his neck until they were eye to eye. The muscular beast snarled, “I should tear your spine from your body.”

“Then who’d do movie night?” Hayden replied with a grin.

“I missed your pizza,” Grannork said, and brought in the scrawny human for a hug that was nearly as life-threatening as the other ways an Orcandu could eviscerate a guy.

The moment was surreal. The soldiers who had held them hostage and even beaten Grannork within an inch of his life were now helping them and under Kal’s command. Makiuarnek had given her a code, and his crew had to listen to her. Another group, the people loyal to Sarge, were led by Tomahawk, who seemed to respect Kal’s authority.

It was a motley throng of mercenaries, ex-IF, and escaped convicts assembled in the hangar of the alien megastructure. They all seemed to be gathering in their respective groups, while Kal had disappeared into the Dervish with Maker. Since Hayden didn’t have a place in any group, he gambled that his former shipmates would take him back.

For the most part, it was true. Now that they knew his reasons for joining the Fenrir, most were eager to accept him back. Cid seemed to be one of the holdouts. He regarded Hayden with a special vehemence reserved for people he despised. Hayden had attempted to apologize, but all Cid could muster was, “We could have been killed,” and he had turned to his bird companion with finality to the conversation.

“Cid will come around,” Grannork offered, following Hayden’s gaze.

“At least he won’t be able to gore me,” Hayden said.

They chitchatted about trivial matters, considering that they were in a hangar hidden on a planet that would be swarming with IF by now. If they attempted to leave, they would be noticed, and the entire might of the Interstellar Forces fleet would descend on the place if they hadn’t already.

From his service days, Hayden wagered that the IF had quickly mobilized orbital superiority and scanned the forests of Nigramoto for the Dervish. Even though their ship was the fastest, there was no way they’d break through the blockade waiting for them. They had been lucky when they escaped Earth. Now, the IF knew they were here and wouldn’t let them disappear again.

Tommy told Hayden that the atomic printers still functioned in the ancient alien megacity, so they probably had an endless supply of fish and other aquatic creatures the beings ate. They wouldn’t starve, but they also wouldn’t be able to stay indefinitely.

The megacity was not visible from the miners’ platforms to haul decrand from the interior. However, with the Dervish disappearing entirely from the planet’s surface and disturbance in the flow of decrand, it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out that Kal had found another way below the surface. They would send probes to scan the interior of the Dyson sphere and find the megacity.

With limited options for retreat, Hayden hoped Kal and Maker were cooking up a brilliant plan of escape because Hayden was scared for the first time since joining Kal and her crew. However, he didn’t let anyone else see it. He was all smiles and grins, joking with the team and returning to his spot as the guy everyone liked, except Cid, and who knew what the birdman thought about anything.

“The Teristaques will come for us,” Grannork said, as if reading his thoughts.

“Hopefully, Kal will have a plan.”

“She didn’t say anything?”

“No, not much.”

During their ride on a platform back to the surface, Kal had been quiet. She was in one of her moods where Hayden knew it was better not to speak unless spoken to. Whatever happened in the singularity had profoundly affected her. Hayden had never seen her so grim and businesslike. She normally didn’t joke around too much, though Hayden had increased her appreciation of a well-placed one-liner. But now, there was obviously something on her mind. However, the best way to find out would be to wait for her to talk about it. Which, hopefully, wouldn’t be too long because she emerged from the Dervish with Maker.

Grannork’s voice cut through the chatter and echoed in the cavernous blue walls surrounding them. “Everyone, listen up.”

Kal addressed the assembled crews. “It’s time to put aside your differences. I know we were enemies just moments ago, but what is waiting for us on the other side doesn’t care if you are a Human or Shusharhian, IF or independent. We are all in this together, and if we remain divided, we will fall, and if we do not rise to this occasion, every sentient being in the galaxy will be at risk.”

A murmur swept through the crowd. Grannork silenced them. Hayden couldn’t stand it anymore. He had to know what had happened to her on the other side. “What’s inside the singularity?” he asked.

A shadow fell over Kal’s face.

“The death of every sentient species.”

Continue reading:

In the Depths of Space…

I was recently in conversation with a person who questioned reading science fiction. They asked a simple question “none of it is real, so why bother with it?” As a science fiction writer and reader, I naturally wanted to defend science fiction. My first impulse was to highlight sci fi classics that act as warnings, like 1984, which has become more relevant as legitimately elected leaders seek to overthrow democracy.

But, the person in question, knows full well the dangers of totalitarianism, and has come to that conclusion without reading science fiction. I also wouldn’t make a sci fi fan out of a person who isn’t. As a writer, I’m fully aware people enjoy reading books they enjoy and there is very little that will convince them otherwise. I’d be wasting my time showing up to cozy romance book clubs ready to talk sci fi.

However, the question, “why science fiction?” has stayed with me since that conversation and I ruminate on science fiction’s purpose as a genre. Why is it exciting to read about something that isn’t real, and in some cases, could never be real without some serious laws of physics rewriting?

Yet, somehow, when I read a book with a sufficiently cool space battle or a moral dilemma the characters are grappling with for a completely fictitious alien race, I get goose bumps. Seriously? What sway does science fiction have over me, that most of my books either fall in that genre or have elements of it?

I could go back to when I was a kid and it was exciting to read books about anywhere but the suburbs of Albuquerque, New Mexico. Or I can think about the first time I seriously thought deeply about an issue when I read Orson Scott Card’s Speaker for the Dead and Xenocide. Those two books really got me thinking about the ethics of destroying an entire planet.

I think for myself, the answer to the question of “why science fiction?” is simply because I enjoy thought experiments and thinking about the future. The fact that it is not real is its strength as a genre. The Hunger Games allows us to watch blood sport, without actually having a real event where people kill each other every year (which would be awful). 1984 puts us in the clutches of a terrible government without having to experience it ourselves. Card’s Ender’s series allows us to think about genocide without the horrors of genocide in real life.

While it may not be real, the consequences of certain ideologies portrayed in science fiction are real. Science Fiction is a way to experiment with the world without the events in the story happening. So, yes, it’s not real, but that’s its strength. How else can an better future be envisioned, then through futures we want to avoid (Hunger Games) and futures that we would want (Star Trek)?

With that being said, the third Teristaque Novel will be out soon. There will be a couple of ways you can get a copy of it. The first way is to support me on Patreon, and you’ll get an early digital copy, (the print copies take longer and may not be early). You can also get a signed copy where I’ll write a message and send it to you. You’ll need to get it on Patreon before the 25th of January.

The second way to get it, is on release day February 14th, 2023. If you plan to get a copy, then I ask you: wait till the first week its out. The more people who purchase it during that week, the bigger the boost will be, the more likely others will discover it, and the higher probability that I do this full time and write more books. It’s a win for everyone.

An Infinite Number of Exes

I never intended on Time Burrito on having a sequel much less many of them. The original was a lot like creating stew with whatever I had in the kitchen at the time. I just wrote whatever the hell I wanted, put a book with a cat flying on a space burrito on the cover, and who cares what anyone else thinks. Most people who gave it a chance loved it.

By the time I got to the fourth book, I wanted to explore things like Clara and Misako’s relationship, Pete’s blind devotion to cooking, and dive into the personal life of Unk. While I do have an Unk-centric story brewing, I cut a lot of his scenes to keep the flow. However, I tested Misako’s and Clara’s relationship and asked the question of Pete, what happens when you get burnt out of your dream job?

The result was that An Infinite Number of Exes is a little grittier than the rest of them. It doesn’t mean that I have replaced antics with scenes of them experiencing deep pain while they look forlorn into the foothills of the Sandia mountains. But I do tackle some pretty heavy issues like the ability to love someone in a different body, or what’s that piece missing from Pete’s soul.

The result was a book that is comic yet tragic, light-hearted, and dark, and unlike any of the Time Burrito books to date. While I feel that it’s a part of the Time Burritoverse, it has a little more than you’d expect. While there will always be a special place in my heart for The Boy King of Carradine being the weirdest thing I’ve ever written. An Infinite Number of Exes has been one of the most unquantifiable things.

If you like time travel, it has time travel. If you are thrilled by a bleak dystopian future where the strong exploit the weak, it has that too. If you are interested in transgender narratives in science fiction, I’ve got that in there too. If you want ennui, there’s that too. Did I mention murderous killbots? A whole slew of them with friendly dispositions (they put the smile in death by firing squad).

The most interesting for me as a writer is that I feel that this book in particular is a good bridge between my comedy and more serious work. It still has ridiculous people in ridiculous situations, but also action sequences where the characters’ lives are in very real danger. If you are looking for something that is equal parts thrilling, character development, and comedy, then An Infinite Number of Exes will be a good one for you.

You can pick up a copy of An Infinite Number of Exes today.

Thank you for being here, and if you loved any of the Time Burrito books, please recommend them to a friend.

Time Burrito 4 Cover Reveal!

I’ll be forthcoming that I don’t post nearly the same content here on my blog that I do with my email list. Folks on that list get access to stuff you won’t find anywhere else. Including the story behind this particular cover art, which I plan to send that email tomorrow.

I mainly use this site as a means for someone who doesn’t know anything about me to get a good snapshot of my books. However, the party is on the email list. Without further ado, here is the cover art of Time Burrito 4, An Infinite Number of Exes. Secure your copy on Patreon.