The USB World of Avatar

The most striking moment in the movie Avatar is the realization that all the aliens, plants, and wildlife on the planet (Pandora) are apparently USB compatible. They simply need to jack themselves into a dinosaur butterfly and off they go whisking freely through the skies. I categorize this idea as one that won’t change the world because really think about a USB interfaced world. Let’s say my home is a Mac but I plan to put a Dell tree in my front yard because I think it’s pretty. For the same reason my Motorola phone does not sync with Itunes, I don’t think a Dell tree would function in my front yard. Maybe I will install windows on my house. Even if I did have a windows house, the tree will most likely show up as giant yellow question mark rather than a tree.

The real trouble is when we start using the butterfly dinosaurs for transportation. I’d rather not find out that I need to update my drivers after I am flattened against a mountain top. Unlike the ecologically balanced world in Avatar, USB cables for life on Earth seems like a bad idea. Think about what would happen if chickens and cows gained access to social networking. There would be events on Facebook to rise up against the chicken oppressors. Imagine cows stampeding the farmers on command after a Twitter, or even worse cows watching fat kids fall down on You Tube. Internet access for farm animals could be catastrophic.

Probably the worst part of animals with internet access is the resurgence of unsung animal heroes such as Lamp Chop’s Play Along. There will be probably a made for TV special that dramaticly tracks Lamp Chop’s rise to stardom, then forced by the evil talent agent / puppet lover to take humiliating names such as Lamp Chop.  Historical movies will be affected too, with movies about the cow that started the Chicago fire from the cow’s perspective. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will no longer be cool because they aren’t really turtles! Unlike world of Avatar ours isn’t ready for USB compatibility at least not until we learn how to balance our world. And by balance our world I mean cease all production on further Bring It On sequels. You figure we would have figured it out after Rocky 15.

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