If I Can Brush My Hair

After watching the first episode of If I Can Dream, I decided to check out the website. For those unfamiliar with mind draining activities, If I Can Dream is a show where you can watch people preform exciting activities such as brush their hair and sleep. The concept of the show is watch as these people attempt to make their dream (singing, acting, etc.) a reality. The  reality of the show is cameras, twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, streaming video directly to the internet. The viewer can watch the struggle of a actress as she decides what to wear, then watch some TV for a while. She might even make some eggs! Who knows what will happen!

Reality and television are separate. Television is life with all the boring parts edited out. Rarely do we see Rick Castle styling his hair, or Jack Shepard taking a crap. Even in “Reality Television” the day to day life is not displayed. Imagine watching the Biggest Losers work out for six hours? Or a Survivor contestant whittle a knife from a stick for three? The real fun is watching large people scream and topple to the ground in exhaustion. However, through the innovation of a house built for 24/7 camera presence, reality is now truly a part of television.

Tune in to the latest If I Can Dream to watch such exciting moments such as Kara, reading a book with curlers in her hair, or Justin putting stuff away in his closet. And who could forget such excitement when Amanda rolled over in her sleep! Why would someone watch this? Don’t take my word for it! See what the internet viewers are saying:

Jerry: One morning over Cheerios, I had an epiphany, I want be an actor. What do struggling actors have for breakfast? I don’t know, maybe I will point my browser to If I Can Dream so I don’t miss out on any of the action. What if they don’t have breakfast today? What if they do tomorrow? Better create a harness, with a laptop and a wi/fi connection so I can watch them all the time. Maybe I will plan my whole life with them, sleep when they do, and can even eat meals with them. I can put the laptop at the head of the table as they are the guest of honor. A toast to the struggling artist. Then maybe I’ll cry myself to sleep because my only friend is a laptop. No suck it up, that’s not what Ben would do! He eats Cheerios! Aha! Breakfast! The secret to success.

Nancy: I like watching them in the bathroom. On the off chance they take their clothes off, my screen capture software is ready. Secretly, I tell my friends that to be cool, I really capture videos of Justin and send them to my family. My fam is really pressuring me to get married! So I am like, here mom! Some footage I captured from my phone of Justin. They don’t watch reality TV. They’ll never know. Now they want to meet him. I better hide in his trashcan with roses I tore from the garden. He will love me. I have a shrine to him in my basement. It’s only missing the most important piece, him. But I will have him too. I may not have what it takes to be famous but I am good at chemistry.

Shannon: I send you this message with grave importance. Mr. Nambutu is attempting to get $150,000,000 out of the country. Warlords killed his family, burned his home, and raped his goat are trying to take money. He only wants money to build schools and churches, but the warlords want to build a goat farm. Please give him your bank account number. Don’t worry, you do not have goats. You will be perfectly safe.

Ted: I’m only watching for the moment when they scream and topple to the ground in exhaustion.

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3 Comments

  1. Haha, great post =] I’ve never been to that website, but the way you’re describing it reminds me of that scene in Before Sunrise where Ethan Hawke’s character has this idea for a TV show with 365 24-hour episodes that each showcase a day in the life of a different person. Of course, he meant it to be artsy and meaningful, and that website just sounds ridiculous, but you make a good point about “reality television” actually being “the good parts.”

    Reply

    1. Yeah, it’s funny how much reality is edited out reality TV. I heard the show Ghost Hunters did a live 6 hour ghost hunt. I’d imagine watching people run around a dark building for 6 hours is pretty tedious. But I’m sure people watched just in case there was a ghost.

      Reply

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