Cervical Cancer

Sometimes the best humor spawns from real life. Before I spread any rumors about me having cervical cancer, this moment of life was designed by an advertising firm. My fiancé and I fell for the hook of the commercial. Normally we don’t fall for gimmicks, being that we both pride ourselves for our academic achievements. Two people with master’s degrees should be leading the intellectual charge. We are educated! We know what’s up! A free vacation! You only need my credit card and I can watch this time share video while I wait! Let me get my credit card!

We were watching television the other day. During the commercial break, there was an ad with a romance novel dressed woman. She followed these glittering, floating objects. Because of the fairy tale atmosphere my fiancé said, “Watch, it’s going be about make up or chocolate.”

We began to guess at what this woman was chasing. We laughed at the different objects that might be at the end of her magical adventure. Like the cat food commercials where the cat wanders through the turkey wonderland, we thought this woman would prance into flavor bliss, when a romance novel leading male presented flowers and candy. We laughed harder when a perfume bottle materialized before her eyes. Finally the product revealed!

Our laughter turned from laughing at the commercial, to laughing at ourselves. All our whimsicality shattered when the perfume bottle finally came into focus with the words “Cervical Cancer.” Touché advertising execs. Touché. Neither of us ran out to get tested for cervical cancer (although, I did consider it).

Me: Test me for cervical cancer.

Doctor: But you’re a man.

Me: The commercial said it’s never to late! I want to be tested NOW!

Doctor: (sighs) Fine, we will test you Mr. Frale.

Me: Could I also get some Yaz?

Even though we did not rush to the hospital for our diagnoses, the ad was a success. We were snapped into attention by the puppeteer of marketing. The creator of the cervical cancer wonderland knew that we were literate in commercials. We believed that we were watching a Russell Stover plug. The key to good advertising, the customers thinking exactly what the firm wants. As consumers we should support companies with good ads, and boycott those that make breaks painful to watch. This is an altruistic cause to enhance life for all humans! So watch my favorite ad on television: The Old Spice Guy. Now, where’s my check. Ahem… Old Spice… you can start paying me now.