From the Bunny Droppings files:

Different personality types respond to different outside stimuli. For example, a person may see an emu and think, ‘That’s a hip pop culture phenomenon’ Whereas another person may see the emu and think, ‘It’s kind of dirty.’ Here is a little list of possible stimuli and responses for a variety of personality types.

Stimulus: A piece of trash, like a paper bag.

Philosopher: Millions of people discarding bags. All the bags used for different purposes. Did this carry the wine of a homeless man? Or Bill Gates’ next million dollar idea? A sense of equality? I need a cigarette.

Scientist: Look! Entropy!

Comic: I can poo in that bag.

Kid from American Beauty: The bag is talking to me. It’s like God is saying everything will be alright.

Jock: Huh?

Stimulus: A leaf

Philosopher: Millions of years of evolution. All leading up to this structured organism, procreating, one generation better than the next, Natural to better ourselves? or just hapstance? My head hurts, looks like I need to get drunk.

Scientist: Look! Photosynthesis!

Comic: I can wipe my butt with that leaf.

Kid from American Beauty: God is talking to me through that leaf! He talks to me through a lot of things. God talks too much.

Jock: Huh?

Stimulus: Rouge the goth rock star from the Cruxshadows and his Middle Class Parents.

Philosopher: Is this iteration really better than the next? What does bettering oneself mean? Whose perception of better? Look likes I’ll need some morphine, lock myself in my room, and pretend I don’t exist again.

Scientist: Look! Newton’s third law!

Comic: His hair looks like poo.

Kid from American Beauty: GET OUT OF MY HEAD GOD! AHHHH! Must make voices stop! Where’s the drill?

Jock: Huh? … Football!