Ideas That Won’t Change The World #1

1. Why do people always freak out when they untwist a soda bottle and it fizzes over? Why don’t they simply twist it back down? I’m glad surgeons don’t freak out. “Oh crap! It’s gushing everywhere! Quick! Put it over the sink!”

2. In an effort to be more green, the US should grow soldiers.

Dixon: Hi, welcome to Dixon’s Soldier Farm. Where soldier’s are as home made as apple pie.

Soldier: Jeepers, you want me to take that guy’s oil? Well boy howdy, I’ll sure take his oil. Excuse me, mister, mister. Would you be a peach and tell me where the oil is at?

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

Solider: If  you want to keep the other arm, I suggest you answer differently next time. Golly Gee mister, you’re swell. Oh no mister, we aren’t looking for weapons of mass destruction. We sure got plenty of those. Well thanks, you have a good day now. And you might want to call a doctor for that wound. Could get infected.

3. Random Citizenship Paper checks. How else am I supposed to hide my illegal Swedish workers?

Advertisements

2 Comments

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s