Ideas That Won’t Change The World #1

1. Why do people always freak out when they untwist a soda bottle and it fizzes over? Why don’t they simply twist it back down? I’m glad surgeons don’t freak out. “Oh crap! It’s gushing everywhere! Quick! Put it over the sink!”

2. In an effort to be more green, the US should grow soldiers.

Dixon: Hi, welcome to Dixon’s Soldier Farm. Where soldier’s are as home made as apple pie.

Soldier: Jeepers, you want me to take that guy’s oil? Well boy howdy, I’ll sure take his oil. Excuse me, mister, mister. Would you be a peach and tell me where the oil is at?

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

Solider: If  you want to keep the other arm, I suggest you answer differently next time. Golly Gee mister, you’re swell. Oh no mister, we aren’t looking for weapons of mass destruction. We sure got plenty of those. Well thanks, you have a good day now. And you might want to call a doctor for that wound. Could get infected.

3. Random Citizenship Paper checks. How else am I supposed to hide my illegal Swedish workers?

Published by aaronfrale

Aaron Frale has been writing comedy for years. He won "Best Writer" as co-writer for a feature film called Hamlet: The Vampire Slayer at the B-Movie Film Fest in New York. You can check out an in depth review of Hamlet from the film critic Obscurus Lupa. Various plays, sketches, and films written by Aaron have been lurking about the Albuquerque scene. In May 2010 he received a Masters of Fine Arts in Dramatic Writing from the University of New Mexico. Music is another one of his past times. His rock band, Spiral, was rated 9 out of 10 by the DPRP for their 2011 release The Capital in Ruins. He currently resides with his wife, Felicia, and a small black dog that thinks he is a giant black dog.. Check out his personal humor blog at: https://wontchangetheworld.com/ and his rock band: http://thespiral.bandcamp.com/

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