25 Fun Cult Ideas

From the Bunny Droppings Files:

1. Shave your head and sing hymns about household cleaning products. Build a temple.

2. Worship Jehovah’s Witnesses and give them fliers to join your Jehovah’s Witnesses Missionary cult.

3. Teen rock band cult. “We always thought he had too many posters in his room.”

4. Listen to all the Beatles albums backwards. Get a licence plate 28 IF. Start a Beatles cult. Then listen to Oasis in secret.

5. Follow the path of L. Ron Hubbard, you know Tom Cruise and John Travolta will take part.

6. Listen to your music really loud. Tell your parents, “One day, I’ll have a whole group of followers that will understand.”

7. Alien worship… illegal alien worship. Your followers don’t have to know the name is pronounced Hey-Zeus.

8. The first church of Danza, then you can claim to really know “Who’s The Boss?”

9. Purchase giant funny glasses. Pretend to read passages in the bible written in between the lines and move to Utah.

10. Take advantage of Goths writing poetry in a graveyard at midnight by dressing up as undead.

11. Suicide cult through $1 green chile double cheese burgers at McDonald’s.

12. Create a church of failed FOX television shows, and never run out of programs to show on Sunday mass.

13. Rewrite heavy metal lyrics to sound like ancient wisdom. “Holy Diver.” Thus spoke the Dio, “You hath been down for ages in the midnight sea…”

14. Pee yourself. Encourage your followers to do the same. Then laugh and say, “I can’t believe you did that!”

15. Use the federal tax guidelines as your bible. Claim to be the only person to really understand the hidden meaning in tax law.

16. Declare a tree in your backyard as a country. Build a tree fort. Put a sign on the outside that says “NO FBI AGENTS ALLOWED.”

17. “Derobing” ceremonies.

18. Match star patterns to positions U2 were on stage at their last concert. Claim Bono only wears shades because he doesn’t want the world to know about his otherworldly heritage.

19. A tortured soul cult. The temple is a coffee shop; the holy symbol a guitar.

20. The Jim and Bridget Jones’ diary.

21. A television commercial cult with Tivo as Satan.

22. The largest family minute sharing plan from T-Mobile. Catherine Zeta-Jones as the high priestess.

23. Rename your taco stand heaven.

24. Watch corporate motivational and training videos over and over. Suicide optional.

25. Worships every prophet. Draw mullets on the pictures of the prophets. Call the cult the Baha’ir.

Published by aaronfrale

Aaron Frale has been writing comedy for years. He won "Best Writer" as co-writer for a feature film called Hamlet: The Vampire Slayer at the B-Movie Film Fest in New York. You can check out an in depth review of Hamlet from the film critic Obscurus Lupa. Various plays, sketches, and films written by Aaron have been lurking about the Albuquerque scene. In May 2010 he received a Masters of Fine Arts in Dramatic Writing from the University of New Mexico. Music is another one of his past times. His rock band, Spiral, was rated 9 out of 10 by the DPRP for their 2011 release The Capital in Ruins. He currently resides with his wife, Felicia, and a small black dog that thinks he is a giant black dog.. Check out his personal humor blog at: https://wontchangetheworld.com/ and his rock band: http://thespiral.bandcamp.com/

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