Fantasy’s Fantasy Worlds

From the Bunny Droppings Files:

I’ve always wondered if demons in an alternate dimension played role-playing games about people living in our world…

Bellorfaus: I turn down the ally to lose the cop.

Granorak: You’ll need to pass a drive check.

Bellorfaus: I don’t have the drive skill. Can’t I make dexterity check?

Nifflandik: Humans don’t let people drive until sixteen blood moons! They probably had to train all their lives.

Granorak: I remember when my grandpa made his twentieth blood moon.

Bellorfaus: I do have Lore: Action Movies so I’ve seen enough people driving!

Nifflandik: You are always trying to use that stupid Lore skill!

Granorak: My grandpa ate the entire Darlokkin clan. He was such an awesome guy.

Bellorfaus: It’s my best skill!

Nifflandik: I can’t help it if you picked a skill that we are never in a situation to use!

Granorak: Ok, ok! Roll lore at minus four.

Bellorfaus: See! I told you… Twenty! Wohoo!

Granorak: You avoid the cop. Nifflandik your character…

Nifflandik: I want my character to make out with a hot babe!

Granorak: You picked the nerd class. You can only make out with hot girls in exchange for money.

Nifflandik: Can I roll my Internet check to find a cheap one?

Granorak: Let’s see the rulebook. It says here, there is a chance that the girl might be a sixty-year-old man.

What would their characters be like when they reach higher levels?

Nifflandik: I sell off my software company for more hot babes.

Granorak: You already have fifty million hot babes.

Nifflandik: I got to make up for all the sixty-year-old men I met on the Internet.

Granorak: Ok fine, Bellorfaus, you are sleeping in a pile of beer cans. Your landlord pounds on the trailer door and awakens you.

Bellorfaus: I sneak out the back window.

Granorak: You get stuck in the window.

Bellorfaus: Can I roll a Lore: Exercise Television Shows check to suck in the fat?

What monsters would they fight?

Granorak: You are attacked by a horde of anti-trust lawyers. They attempt to subpoena you. You have the initiative.

Nifflandik: I use my fax blast attack. I rolled a 19! Critical hit!

Granorak: Ok, the lawyers fax systems are down for the count. They return with a PR Campaign of Striking… Ok Bellorfaus, your character is attempting to arm wrassle Jimbo for his pig…

Published by aaronfrale

Aaron Frale has been writing comedy for years. He won "Best Writer" as co-writer for a feature film called Hamlet: The Vampire Slayer at the B-Movie Film Fest in New York. You can check out an in depth review of Hamlet from the film critic Obscurus Lupa. Various plays, sketches, and films written by Aaron have been lurking about the Albuquerque scene. In May 2010 he received a Masters of Fine Arts in Dramatic Writing from the University of New Mexico. Music is another one of his past times. His rock band, Spiral, was rated 9 out of 10 by the DPRP for their 2011 release The Capital in Ruins. He currently resides with his wife, Felicia, and a small black dog that thinks he is a giant black dog.. Check out his personal humor blog at: https://wontchangetheworld.com/ and his rock band: http://thespiral.bandcamp.com/

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