A Cake New World

Ideas That Won’t Change The World usually deals with innovative and fresh ideas that are pretty much useless. Today is different. The world will change from an idea so genius that Stephen Hawking will have to reserve a seat on the little yellow school bus. Behold the pinnacle invention of the future, the food printer. Throw out that new 3d TV! Be the envy of all the neighbors with a carrot cake decorated like Carrot Top!

Why bother the fine artisans at cake shops throughout the country to write dirty words on a cake? For the price of a new laptop, it can be done at home! The Internet teaches a valuable lesson in fanciful language that will now be a part of the dessert world. For those that think the Internet is an invention of Al Glore, I have a secret. The “Internet” (AKA: The Online, The Interwebs, The Fan-dangled Device, and Perry’s Perversion Palace) is really a vast network of thirteen year-old boys learning to utilize a vast array of vocabulary skills. Log into any “chatroom” (AKA: Hang Out, 40 somethings, 30 somethings, Child Predatorsomethings), and the vocabulary skills will be at work:

Playa2341: This ******* **** is ***! Why ***** ***** **** **** *** *** *** ice cream **** *** *** *** *** bodega ***** *** **** **** Josh Hartnett *****  *** *** ******* ***** **** **** *** **** **** **** The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

Now imagine combing the vast computing power of thirteen year-old boys with a cake decoration printer. Little Johnny’s birthday won’t be the same again. However, as global citizens of the planet, progress doesn’t stop for those that refuse to hop on board so sign me up for the food printer. Just don’t ask me to make the cake for your next party.

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