April 15th is a mere week away and for those that owe money to the federal government, don’t worry! The government is going to shut down! The few left over federal employees will be too busy with the chaos that ensues from the all the park rangers going on unpaid furloughs. Maybe one of my ideas may actually change the world:
1. In your tax packet write, “I’m sorry. I died and can’t pay.” This one has the potential to set you up for life.
2. Pay them in “Google Dollars.” Proclaim you are a citizen of the new Google country.
3. List the entire country of North Korea as your dependents.
4. Put on a baseball cap. Pout and sequel “I’m a professional baseball player and I don’t have to pay taxes.” (My wife actually did this one when she was kid to avoid bedtime).
5. Put a postage stamp on your head. Walk into the IRS office. Tell them you are a strongly worded letter and inanimate objects don’t have money.
6. Tell the feds you don’t have enough cash because you spent it all on 5,000 pounds of fertilizer and a van. Residents of Guantanamo Bay don’t have taxes!
7. Send them a family photo instead of what you owe. After all, a picture is a priceless treasure.
8. Offer your best mount in World of Warcraft as payment. Player Kill their character right as you are about to make the transaction. Type P0wn3d N00b! That will teach the IRS to mess with you!
9. Fake mustache. Phony French accent. Pretend you are a foreign dignitary. Works every time!
10. When all else fails, sucker punch. Then run.