Roadside Oddities

Since the beginning of 2011, every morning on the way to work a strange Uncle Sam mouse guy was always trying to get me to purchase his tax scheme. He looked like a generic form of Mickey Mouse (kind of like the way brands like Mountain Lightning look like a generic form of Mountain Dew). The eyes of the suit were designed in such a way that I could swear they were looking right at me.

While I passed, I always imagined the guy saying, “Alright Kia, today’s the day you will do your taxes.”

And every day I responded, “But my dad’s an accountant! I’ve already done my taxes!”

Last week, I saw the guy take off the giant mouse head and walk dejectedly back through the parking lot. Somehow the victory over the allure of the mouse guy’s tax simplicity was a hallow victory. This guy had been diligently parading for the last four months with giant hands, statues of liberty, and an army of roadside tax oddities.

Let’s take a moment of silence for these unspoken heroes.

Let’s take the next moment to think about an unemployment line full of mice, statues of liberty, and the others.

Unemployment Worker: What skills do you have?

Statue of Liberty: I can scream at traffic.

UW: Any other non village crazy guy skills?

SL: I have foamy spikes on my head.

UW: Um right… well um… here’s your unemployment.

SL: Great, I’ll see you next year.

UW: Next. Name?

Mouse Guy: Uncle Sam Mouse Guy.

UW: What skills do you have?

MG: I will end that Kia.

And that folks is why you should never trust a mouse dressed like Uncle Sam.

Published by aaronfrale

Aaron Frale has been writing comedy for years. He won "Best Writer" as co-writer for a feature film called Hamlet: The Vampire Slayer at the B-Movie Film Fest in New York. You can check out an in depth review of Hamlet from the film critic Obscurus Lupa. Various plays, sketches, and films written by Aaron have been lurking about the Albuquerque scene. In May 2010 he received a Masters of Fine Arts in Dramatic Writing from the University of New Mexico. Music is another one of his past times. His rock band, Spiral, was rated 9 out of 10 by the DPRP for their 2011 release The Capital in Ruins. He currently resides with his wife, Felicia, and a small black dog that thinks he is a giant black dog.. Check out his personal humor blog at: https://wontchangetheworld.com/ and his rock band: http://thespiral.bandcamp.com/

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