This “Bud’s” for You

Despite the illegal status of marijuana in our country, pot technology continues to grow in a vast and profitable industry. I really don’t know any illegal substance that has specialty shops, Rastafarian vendors, and doctors on staff ready to prescribe “back pain” remedies. Yes, in most medical marijuana states, the wacky tobaccy is a doctor’s visit away from legal. The businesses that surround the substance seem to be a thriving enterprise.

To circumvent the “against the law” status of pot, the water pipe manufacturers created this sticker “For Tobacco Use Only”. Who in their right mind would use a six foot bong to smoke tobacco? I had a friend in college whom attempted to smoke tobacco from a one foot bong. He promptly turned white as a sheet and passed out. What’s up with that phrase turn white as a sheet anyway?

Three hardcore Crips are toking. Rap blares in the background. T-KillaDaKilla accidentally puts tobacco into the bong and lights up. He turns into a White guy.

T-KillaDaKilla: What’s that confounded noise? I am going listen to Taylor Swift and do my taxes. Do you have any Maalox?

S-KillaKillinKilledKillJoy: You trippin’ man!

For a substance that could theoretically land the user time in prison, the market sure seems to sell a lot of accessories for the stuff. My car broke down in a small town in New Mexico and sure enough, next door to the town mechanic was a pipe shop. These stores are on just about every major road in Albuquerque. I’d imagine the weed novelty shops are in just about every city in the country. The legalization of marijuana has not caught up with the industry.

There really isn’t any other illegal substance with the prevalence of entrepreneurship having products like designer roaches. You never see designer cocaine mirrors with psychedelic rolled up dollar bills. They don’t really make glass blown crack spoons. The stores have Bob Marley shaped pipes. What about Bradley Nowell designer syringes?

The marijuana cigarette (as the fifties voice over calls it) has more than just novelty trinkets. You can purchase a mobile hydroponic farm for all your 4:20 on the go needs. No, I am not joking. This of course begs the question. When the laws of the U.S. finally catch up to reality, will pot compete with ice cream vendors?

An ice cream truck twinkles down the street, pumping the familiar and slightly creepy chimes. Kids dash out of the house in droves. 

A beat up station wagon with a tye-die paint job and a Rastafarian driver plays “Smoke Two Joints”, and all the adults come running.

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