This “Bud’s” for You

Despite the illegal status of marijuana in our country, pot technology continues to grow in a vast and profitable industry. I really don’t know any illegal substance that has specialty shops, Rastafarian vendors, and doctors on staff ready to prescribe “back pain” remedies. Yes, in most medical marijuana states, the wacky tobaccy is a doctor’s visit away from legal. The businesses that surround the substance seem to be a thriving enterprise.

To circumvent the “against the law” status of pot, the water pipe manufacturers created this sticker “For Tobacco Use Only”. Who in their right mind would use a six foot bong to smoke tobacco? I had a friend in college whom attempted to smoke tobacco from a one foot bong. He promptly turned white as a sheet and passed out. What’s up with that phrase turn white as a sheet anyway?

Three hardcore Crips are toking. Rap blares in the background. T-KillaDaKilla accidentally puts tobacco into the bong and lights up. He turns into a White guy.

T-KillaDaKilla: What’s that confounded noise? I am going listen to Taylor Swift and do my taxes. Do you have any Maalox?

S-KillaKillinKilledKillJoy: You trippin’ man!

For a substance that could theoretically land the user time in prison, the market sure seems to sell a lot of accessories for the stuff. My car broke down in a small town in New Mexico and sure enough, next door to the town mechanic was a pipe shop. These stores are on just about every major road in Albuquerque. I’d imagine the weed novelty shops are in just about every city in the country. The legalization of marijuana has not caught up with the industry.

There really isn’t any other illegal substance with the prevalence of entrepreneurship having products like designer roaches. You never see designer cocaine mirrors with psychedelic rolled up dollar bills. They don’t really make glass blown crack spoons. The stores have Bob Marley shaped pipes. What about Bradley Nowell designer syringes?

The marijuana cigarette (as the fifties voice over calls it) has more than just novelty trinkets. You can purchase a mobile hydroponic farm for all your 4:20 on the go needs. No, I am not joking. This of course begs the question. When the laws of the U.S. finally catch up to reality, will pot compete with ice cream vendors?

An ice cream truck twinkles down the street, pumping the familiar and slightly creepy chimes. Kids dash out of the house in droves. 

A beat up station wagon with a tye-die paint job and a Rastafarian driver plays “Smoke Two Joints”, and all the adults come running.

Published by aaronfrale

Aaron Frale has been writing comedy for years. He won "Best Writer" as co-writer for a feature film called Hamlet: The Vampire Slayer at the B-Movie Film Fest in New York. You can check out an in depth review of Hamlet from the film critic Obscurus Lupa. Various plays, sketches, and films written by Aaron have been lurking about the Albuquerque scene. In May 2010 he received a Masters of Fine Arts in Dramatic Writing from the University of New Mexico. Music is another one of his past times. His rock band, Spiral, was rated 9 out of 10 by the DPRP for their 2011 release The Capital in Ruins. He currently resides with his wife, Felicia, and a small black dog that thinks he is a giant black dog.. Check out his personal humor blog at: https://wontchangetheworld.com/ and his rock band: http://thespiral.bandcamp.com/

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