15 TV Pilot Failures

From the Bunny Droppings files:

1. CSI Leave It to Beaver – The first episode involved a lot of a vomiting from the Beave and Wally. Eventually, Wally downward spiraled into heroin addiction.

2. V: North Korea – The Aliens began worshiping the Kim Jong-Il like a god and wondered what the hell happened? They were supposed to be the terror dictators!

3. Lost: Central Park – They eventually escaped after one of them hailed a cab, but not after a few hobo fights.

4. American President – Kind of like American Idol except for the presidential election. Simon was discovered dead in his bedroom from “natural causes.”

5. The Prisoner Blues Clues – Steve ended up on the spy prison island. Blue was number 2. Famous quote: “I’m not a number. I’m a free man! Let’s dance.”

6. The Never-ending X-Files – It really wouldn’t end when it should. Just like the original X-Files. Zing!

7. Fresh Prince of 24 – Parachute pants weren’t really effective means to go undercover from the terrorists.

8. Who wants to be a Terror Dictator? – The contestants started worshiping one of the judges, Kim Jong-il. How does that guy do that?

9. Elmo the Vampire Slayer – Killed in the pilot. However, Ernie experimented with witchcraft and discovered his true feelings for Burt.

10. Phreak Factor – Just like Fear Factor except with Meth addicts.

11. Full Big House – The entire cast of Full House in prison. Uncle Jesse had the map tattooed on his chest. Bonus feature on the DVD set featured a cut shower scene with Joey saying, “Is it made of wood?”

12. Battlestar West Wing – Featured an insane doctor that kept speaking to an imagined Cylon Hilary Clinton.

13. All in the Borg Family – Good old fashion assimilation values.

14. Win Ben Stein’s Used Toiletries – They couldn’t find any contestants except for a couple of stalkers.

15. Eat, Drink and Be Larry’s made for TV dramas – This is serious guys! Shut up! Stop laughing!

Published by aaronfrale

Aaron Frale has been writing comedy for years. He won "Best Writer" as co-writer for a feature film called Hamlet: The Vampire Slayer at the B-Movie Film Fest in New York. You can check out an in depth review of Hamlet from the film critic Obscurus Lupa. Various plays, sketches, and films written by Aaron have been lurking about the Albuquerque scene. In May 2010 he received a Masters of Fine Arts in Dramatic Writing from the University of New Mexico. Music is another one of his past times. His rock band, Spiral, was rated 9 out of 10 by the DPRP for their 2011 release The Capital in Ruins. He currently resides with his wife, Felicia, and a small black dog that thinks he is a giant black dog.. Check out his personal humor blog at: https://wontchangetheworld.com/ and his rock band: http://thespiral.bandcamp.com/

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