15 TV Pilot Failures

From the Bunny Droppings files:

1. CSI Leave It to Beaver – The first episode involved a lot of a vomiting from the Beave and Wally. Eventually, Wally downward spiraled into heroin addiction.

2. V: North Korea – The Aliens began worshiping the Kim Jong-Il like a god and wondered what the hell happened? They were supposed to be the terror dictators!

3. Lost: Central Park – They eventually escaped after one of them hailed a cab, but not after a few hobo fights.

4. American President – Kind of like American Idol except for the presidential election. Simon was discovered dead in his bedroom from “natural causes.”

5. The Prisoner Blues Clues – Steve ended up on the spy prison island. Blue was number 2. Famous quote: “I’m not a number. I’m a free man! Let’s dance.”

6. The Never-ending X-Files – It really wouldn’t end when it should. Just like the original X-Files. Zing!

7. Fresh Prince of 24 – Parachute pants weren’t really effective means to go undercover from the terrorists.

8. Who wants to be a Terror Dictator? – The contestants started worshiping one of the judges, Kim Jong-il. How does that guy do that?

9. Elmo the Vampire Slayer – Killed in the pilot. However, Ernie experimented with witchcraft and discovered his true feelings for Burt.

10. Phreak Factor – Just like Fear Factor except with Meth addicts.

11. Full Big House – The entire cast of Full House in prison. Uncle Jesse had the map tattooed on his chest. Bonus feature on the DVD set featured a cut shower scene with Joey saying, “Is it made of wood?”

12. Battlestar West Wing – Featured an insane doctor that kept speaking to an imagined Cylon Hilary Clinton.

13. All in the Borg Family – Good old fashion assimilation values.

14. Win Ben Stein’s Used Toiletries – They couldn’t find any contestants except for a couple of stalkers.

15. Eat, Drink and Be Larry’s made for TV dramas – This is serious guys! Shut up! Stop laughing!

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