10 Uses For Spy Satellites

Apparently, Jay-Z and Beyonce are going to make a music video in space. Why not make a video from space and skip the costly space flight tab? Considering spy satellites can find a quarter on the street, why not put them to good use?

1. A ballistic targeting system zooming in on Rick Perry’s head.

2. A satellite zoom over an all male nudist colony switching quickly to an all female nudist colony then back to the male one after the commanding officer leaves the room.

3. Read over someone’s shoulder. He will look annoyed up into space. Then position the book so the satellite can’t see it.

4. Who needs sports cable packages when you have spy technology?

5. Nuclear warhead cam chasing terror dictators using comical techniques from cartoons. For example, when the dictator runs inside, the warhead knocks on door pretending to be a charitable organization.

6. The pants down for Google Earth movement didn’t go very far.

7. Zoom as if you are a sky diver whose chute doesn’t open. Zoom in and out for comical bouncing effect. Cut to plane to try again. Make sure to have fifties announcer voice “The kooky skydiver doesn’t learn! Whoa boy! He is at it again!”

8. Insist that sandwiches are an alien conspiracy. Spy on picnics for hidden communique.

9. SOPA and PIPA regulators _________________________________________ monkey_____________bar stool_________________three quarts___________!

10. No more naked yard work. Phooey.

Published by aaronfrale

Aaron Frale has been writing comedy for years. He won "Best Writer" as co-writer for a feature film called Hamlet: The Vampire Slayer at the B-Movie Film Fest in New York. You can check out an in depth review of Hamlet from the film critic Obscurus Lupa. Various plays, sketches, and films written by Aaron have been lurking about the Albuquerque scene. In May 2010 he received a Masters of Fine Arts in Dramatic Writing from the University of New Mexico. Music is another one of his past times. His rock band, Spiral, was rated 9 out of 10 by the DPRP for their 2011 release The Capital in Ruins. He currently resides with his wife, Felicia, and a small black dog that thinks he is a giant black dog.. Check out his personal humor blog at: https://wontchangetheworld.com/ and his rock band: http://thespiral.bandcamp.com/

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