The Romulan Senate Gives You A Sad Face

I read an article about a cloaked alien ship near Mercury. The conspirator thinks that an ejection from the sun revealed the cloaked ship. The scientist says that it’s a data processing glitch. I say that it’s Jimmy Hoffa’s grandmother hooked to an MK-ULTRA device by Elvis while Kennedy’s assassins order a Mayan calender shaped pizza from the CIA prepared by an inmate that traveled through time from 1960’s Alcatraz. My explanation is of course the most plausible and if you don’t believe me or even to attempt to disprove me, I’ll accuse you of spreading disinformation. I’ll let the video speak for itself:

Didn’t that look exactly like Jimmy Hoffa’s grandmother hooked to an MK-ULTRA device by Elvis while Kennedy’s assassins order a Mayan calender shaped pizza from the CIA prepared by an inmate that traveled through time from 1960’s Alcatraz?

I think this Mercurial UFO is quintessential of good conspiracies. The official explanation of “artifacts in data processing” is the kind of explanation that has the UFOlogists saying, “You can do better than that. You are not even trying to cover it up!” And thus we come to fatal flaw of conspiracy theory. Any explanation, aside from Romulan Senate spying on pre-federation Earth, is considered a cover-up.

I don’t find it hard to believe in aliens. It’s a big universe that’s about 13 billion years out. Conversely, humans went from tribes to spaceflight in a couple thousand. Another species of intelligent beings possessing a “warp drive” technology really isn’t that far fetched. I read an article about figuring out how to slow the ship down safely is the key making it an reality. I figure a species with a million years head start probably had enough time to figure out quick transit between vast interstellar distances.

Whether or not they have visited Earth or are more specifically hiding behind Mercury is where I remain skeptical. Let’s go back to the it’s a big universe concept. There is a chance that humans may be completely unremarkable. What if aliens visited the planet today, and wrote “Pre-warp bipedal species” or “Mostly Harmless” (to quote Douglas Adams) in their catalog before moving on. All the other aliens may see this entry and spend their time elsewhere in the galaxy.

Published by aaronfrale

Aaron Frale has been writing comedy for years. He won "Best Writer" as co-writer for a feature film called Hamlet: The Vampire Slayer at the B-Movie Film Fest in New York. You can check out an in depth review of Hamlet from the film critic Obscurus Lupa. Various plays, sketches, and films written by Aaron have been lurking about the Albuquerque scene. In May 2010 he received a Masters of Fine Arts in Dramatic Writing from the University of New Mexico. Music is another one of his past times. His rock band, Spiral, was rated 9 out of 10 by the DPRP for their 2011 release The Capital in Ruins. He currently resides with his wife, Felicia, and a small black dog that thinks he is a giant black dog.. Check out his personal humor blog at: https://wontchangetheworld.com/ and his rock band: http://thespiral.bandcamp.com/

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

<span>%d</span> bloggers like this: