10 Ways to Keep Your Child Safe from Sexual Predators

While children are in no greater risk from sexual predators on Halloween than any other day of the year, better safe than sorry. Here are some tips to avoid sexual predators this Halloween. 1. Rig your kid with explosive paint dye. Use that dye they put in fake bills for bank robberies. 2. Adopt Newt GringrichContinue reading “10 Ways to Keep Your Child Safe from Sexual Predators”

3 Freakin’ Ghost Stories

Welcome my fellow readers to a cliché so terrible that you will die of fright, have a  brain embolism, projectile vomit poop from your mouth, and perhaps tinkle. Just a little tinkle. Like a wee bit of wee. The kind that leaves a little dot on your pants but you don’t change the pants. TheContinue reading “3 Freakin’ Ghost Stories”

12 Awful Halloween Theme Parties

Halloween is a great way to let loose and dress like you normally wouldn’t in real life. So why take it to such an extreme that your friends never talk to you again? Here are some ways to terrify guests of your party this Halloween. 1. Ku Klux Kegger – Racially motivated hate crimes won’t beContinue reading “12 Awful Halloween Theme Parties”

10 Ways to Escape Jury Duty

Here are some fun ways to get out of jury duty… and probably spend some time in prison. 1. Claim that you are an alien observer from the nearest life supporting star system. When they remove you from court, threaten to write “unremarkable” on your report. 2. Tell them you are from a terrorist cellContinue reading “10 Ways to Escape Jury Duty”