Here are some fun ways to get out of jury duty… and probably spend some time in prison.
1. Claim that you are an alien observer from the nearest life supporting star system. When they remove you from court, threaten to write “unremarkable” on your report.
2. Tell them you are from a terrorist cell and that you hope find new recruits.
3. Exclaim that you have civic duty in your pants and everybody is invited.
4. Use snide remarks, “Boring! When do we get to sell our story to US Today?”
5. Play cell phone games. Hide at least five spare phones on your person.
6. If male, tell them you are only here to pick up chicks. Bonus if the judge is female.
7. If female, tell them you only want marry a man on death row. Flirt with defendant.
8. Complain when the cast of Law & Order aren’t the attorneys. Insist that you will only answer questions from Mariska Hargitay.
9. Make disbelief noises during every witness testimony.
10. Sell drugs. Claim “it makes these things go way faster.”