Posts by aaronfrale

Aaron Frale has been writing comedy for years. He won "Best Writer" as co-writer for a feature film called Hamlet: The Vampire Slayer at the B-Movie Film Fest in New York. You can check out an in depth review of Hamlet from the film critic Obscurus Lupa. Various plays, sketches, and films written by Aaron have been lurking about the Albuquerque scene. In May 2010 he received a Masters of Fine Arts in Dramatic Writing from the University of New Mexico. Music is another one of his past times. His rock band, Spiral, was rated 9 out of 10 by the DPRP for their 2011 release The Capital in Ruins. He currently resides with his wife, Felicia, and a small black dog that thinks he is a giant black dog.. Check out his personal humor blog at: https://wontchangetheworld.com/ and his rock band: http://thespiral.bandcamp.com/

The Robin Hood of Couches Cover Reveal

The Robin Hood of couches is coming out soon! Check out the cover art below. Remember, if you want to get the special Patreon members only version of this book with bonus content place a $5 or above donation before 7/25/19 ($2 donations will get the regular eBook edition in advance of everyone else). If you want to skip all this Patreon stuff you can preorder on Amazon here.

coveredited

Thank you to everyone whose supported me already. Here is a sneak peak at the first chapter:

Tyrell’s life was officially over. He elected to spend his last precious moments fiddling with the controls of his couch. When he had first learned of the impending disaster, he decided on Fluffy Cloud, which made it feel like he was drifting through the air when he sat on the billowing white cushions. Now, after a few swipes and taps on the display hovering in front of him, he selected College Futon. The molecules in the couch rearranged themselves to a hard, uncomfortable mattress on top of a black metal frame.

College Futon
felt right. Let them take a sad futon when they took everything he owned. He went for the TV next. He closed the couch app on the screen hovering in front of him and opened the TV one. He always liked 360 Display with HoloSport Playback. He could see the football fly from the rear wall of his apartment to the front as if it were in the room. He turned off 360 and pulled up 1970’s Vintage Wood Panel Tube. The TV screen that enveloped his living room faded away, and an old tube TV with wood paneling appeared on the other side of the room from his futon.

Tyrell got up and clicked the big thick knob of the set. The screen changed from an I Love Lucy rerun to the technicolor world of Green Acres. He laughed as he flipped the channels with an actual dial. “Don’t touch that dial,” he said and cackled.
The replica was so authentic. He even had to bang the side of the TV when the picture went out. He could have saved so much money per month if he had done this earlier and stripped the furniture in his apartment to the basic models and lowered his service plans. But now it was too late; his bank account was not only negative, but it was so negative that his next paycheck wouldn’t even make it positive again.

He would have been fine if his son’s school waited till withdraw the tuition Wednesday like they said they would. Instead, every little five-dollar transaction got hit with an overdraft fee. Tyrell was addicted to chipping in five bucks to any Kickstarter campaign that seemed halfway exciting or had a heartwarming story behind it. The little charges created a giant negative cash flow when the overdraft fees got involved.

Tyrell had yelled at the customer service representative of the bank. He had called the fees a tax a on poor people and would rant to anyone who would listen about how banks could charge as many fees as they wanted, but the only people it would end up hurting were the people without money. He had screamed and yelled, but in the end, could do nothing to prevent the loss of everything he owned.

He plopped back down on the futon and enjoyed the last few moments on a hard, uncomfortable surface. The screen hovering in the air popped up with a message and a countdown timer marking the final minutes he’d own a couch:
Couch+: FINAL NOTICE: Your payment was unable to process. Enter alternate payment method now?

When Tyrell failed to enter an alternate payment method, the couch dissolved when the timer reached zero. With no molecules strung together under his rump to form a College Futon, he hit the floor with a thump.

The TV went next:

TV HERO: Payment failed: 3rd NOTICE. Please enter a new payment method now to avoid disruption of your service.
In the course of the next few days, every object he owned disappeared until he was left with an empty apartment. He thanked his lucky stars that his bathroom was tied to the rent and wasn’t on a subscription service. He still had another couple of weeks to figure out that impending disaster.

_______
The 3D printer built into the fabric of his walls was the deluxe edition, and the payment bounced like the rest of them. Now he couldn’t even print a new couch even if he could restart his service. He sat down in the middle of the empty room and a pit formed in his stomach. Tyrell’s ex would be dropping off his son tomorrow, and once she saw the state of his apartment, everything she ever said or thought about him would be confirmed. He knew what would happen next. She would march his son out the door, and the state would evaluate his fitness to be a father. Because of a few overdraft fees, he would never see his son again.

His paycheck had hit the account a week ago. The negative balance was slightly less negative but still not even enough for a meal. Tyrell was hungry because even the food in his fridge (not to mention the fridge itself) was on a subscription service. He was lucky that lunch was a perk at his place of employment, so he at least got one meal a day plus whatever he could shove into his pockets.

Tyrell pondered borrowing some money to clear the balance and at least re-up his kid’s room subscription service. His mother had less money than him. His father was in prison, and his friends always owed him money. That left payday loans, which were worse. He’d owe more money than he could afford in interest and be right back where he started. However, the black hole of payday loans was tempting. Maybe his ex would be a little more sympathetic when she saw he spent his last dime on his son.

Tyrell wrung his hands and cursed the overdraft fees. There were fees to keep his drone technician license up-to-date. There were fees for phones, utilities, and roadways. Every time he encountered a necessary task from the government, there were fees. There were late fees, overdraft fees, neighborhood associations fees, parking fees, and the ultimate scam, the electronic processing fee.

It also didn’t help that most of his paycheck would go to his ex. The money was supposed to be for his son, but he saw her nails and hair. They weren’t cheap to maintain. He cut that thought before it could go any further. Whenever things got rocky, he’d blame her for their problems, which led to the divorce. It wasn’t until he almost lost his son that he realized he had some of the blame to share as well.

He sat in an empty apartment and waited for his life to crumble.

The doorbell rang.

He tiptoed toward the front door. His footsteps echoed in the empty apartment, and the noise was unsettling. He almost didn’t answer the door, but the doorbell was persistent. He swung it opened, and a white guy with a long beard and thick glasses said, “Tyrell Bryant?”

“Who’s asking?” Tyrell said.

“We have a delivery for you,” the man said, and a screen appeared between them with a signature box. Tyrell reached out and signed for the package with a flick of his finger. The man went back downstairs to get the shipment. Tyrell racked his brain for what it could possibly be. The various Kickstarter campaigns would always come with a reward, but they would still be digital.

In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he had a physical object shipped to his house.
It was way more expensive to order an object like a fancy new kitchen knife and have it delivered than to pay a low monthly fee for a fully stocked kitchen of any utensil he desired. Only elderly people like his grandma had kitchens with all these drawers and cabinet space. Before his subscription ran out, he’d punch in the tool he needed, and it would appear on the counter in front of him. When he was done, it would disappear along with the mess. It was much better than loading the dishwasher, like when he was a kid.

Only collectors and wealthy people seemed to own physical objects anymore. He had a friend who would buy the hundred-dollar tier on Kickstarter just to buy a physical copy of a book because he liked the way the pages felt. He used to think his friend was such an oddball. However, his entire collection of Kickstarter reward books disappeared when the EliteCloudPlatinum digital storage space had expired. He would not make fun of his friend anymore because of what he’d give for a book or something to take his mind off his encounter with his ex tomorrow.

The bearded man didn’t come back with a book or anything that could even be misconstrued as a reward for supporting a crowd-funded campaign. It was a couch, a large brown sofa with a stain resistant finish.

“Where you want it?” the bearded man said.

“I didn’t order this,” Tyrell said.

“If there is a problem with the order, take it up with the place you bought it from. We are just the delivery service.” The man rolled his eyes. His partner set the couch down and leaned against it.

“No, what I mean to say is you got the wrong address.”

“Are you Tyrell Bryant? At this address?”

“Yeah.”

“Then all this stuff is yours.”

“What do you mean all?” Just as Tyrell said that, two more large men hefted a twin-sized bed up the stairs. It was the perfect size for his son’s room.

“You can refuse delivery—” the bearded man began.

“No, you can put that over here, and that bed can go in the smaller of the two bedrooms under the window,” Tyrell said. His prayers had been answered. Even if it was a mix-up, maybe he could keep the stuff long enough to clear his account and give his son a place to stay for the week.

For the rest of the night, the movers lugged a two-bedroom apartment’s worth of furniture up three flights of stairs and down the hall to 307. He was getting the full service from lamps to a new bed, and even kitchen utensils (including a cart to store them in). He also got a network-enabled TV, not that it would do any good without subscriptions to any of the streaming services. To his surprise, he even got a bookshelf with enough books to make his friend jealous. What really amazed him was an archaic piece of technology called a Blu-ray player. He hadn’t seen one of those since he was a kid. Physical movie players disappeared when collections went digital. Some of the movies included were ones he remembered watching as a kid in his pajamas with his father. However, oddly enough, there were new movies too, even though companies stopped making Blu-rays years and years ago.

Before he could ponder any further, the bearded man shoved a stylus in Tyrell’s face and sent him a request to share a screen. “Sign here to verify that it is all here.”

“Since I don’t know what supposed to be here, sure, I’ll sign,” Tyrell said. The bearded man and his colleagues walked out the door. He could hear them mumbling something about rich people as they went for the elevator. Tyrell would have been right there grumbling with them if his apartment wasn’t fully loaded with subscription-free furniture. The couch itself must have been worth years of Couch+ service, and it was sitting in his place.

Tyrell was pretty sure it wasn’t illegal to accept gifts, and for all he knew, the furniture was a gift. It was addressed to him, and while he didn’t know all of his neighbors, he was pretty sure a person who could afford to have furniture delivered wouldn’t live in his apartment complex. He was sure they lived in compounds with private lakes in the center. Even if they did come looking for it, he’d give it back. All he needed was a few weeks to get his bank account back on track.
Until he knew otherwise, he decided to treat it like it was his own.

That was until the police showed up on his doorstep a week later.

 

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Time Burrito on Sale for 99 Cents!

timeburrito_kindleI wanted to give a token of my appreciation for the support I’ve already received on Patreon. I have two offers for you. Time Burrito will be on sale for 99 cents from now till 7/12/19 (US and UK only)! Othello and Zombies will be free during that same time frame. Thank you again for your support, your donations help me keep producing books and you get some cool stuff for your donation. If you haven’t already, check out my Patreon page here.

Keep being awesome!

My Patreon Page

It’s been a while since I last contacted you all because two things needed to happen. I needed to be able to walk again (check) and The Robin Hood of Couches needed to be complete (check). If you recall, back in January we raised over $1000 for The Robin Hood of Couches on Kickstarter, but the campaign didn’t fund its overall goal, so I didn’t get any money.

Instead of funding the book through Kickstarter where I don’t get any money, I’m switching to Patreon, where I get what you generously donate regardless if it is only 1 person or 100. I’m hoping that you’ll donate at the same level you did for The Robin Hood of Couches, and you’ll get the same reward. The best part is that Kickstarter had some eye popping shipping fees, I’m going to eat the shipping fees myself, and you’ll get the book for $25 no extra cost for shipping international or otherwise!

In order to keep the shipping low enough for me to do that, I’m going to have to add $10 to the price for signed copies (because I need to ship those books I sign to me, then pay another fee to get it to you). For $35, I’ll sign it and write you a personal message. Part of the benefit of becoming a patron is that people ask me all the time how to get my books in ePub, well this is your chance. The Advanced digital copies will be available in MOBI, ePub, and PDF.

Finally, for those who had picked the rewards to be characters in the book. I can’t do it for this book because I scrimped and saved and have already sent it to a professional editor. But if you get the reward level of minor or major character, I’ll make sure I get you as a character in a future book, as well as getting a signed copy.

The best part about Patreon is that if you like my work, you can continue to donate to each project I do, and it only charges you when I release a new book. Don’t worry, I’ll always let you know when a new book is on the way, so you’ll have time to opt out if the next one isn’t for you. However, right now I only publish about two books a year so that it only costs you $50 a year to help me provide high quality editing, cover art, and all the things that make a book shine. And who knows, if I get more supporters down the line, maybe I’ll publish more than two a year.

Thank you all for your support and you can go here to support me and get The Robin Hood of Couches as your reward and ORION as a the bonus digital book if you choose that level. In order to get this exclusive offer, you’ll need to sign up before 7/25/19. Let’s see if we can blow that Kickstarter campaign out of the water!

Thank you again for your support.

Hayden’s Dilemma – Teristaque Chronicles 7

HaydensDilemmaHello there friends, Romans, countrymen, and countrywomen (its not a guy/girl thing)! As you know, I had to take some time off to recover from a bad injury (I still got two more weeks to go before I can put weight on the leg. Then there is time learning how to walk again! Oh the joy!).

During the recovery time, I kept myself busy with some writing projects including the 7th story in my short story series the Teristaque Chronicles. Don’t worry. Robin Hood of Couches is still forthcoming, I just decided that in between the Kickstarter and now, I wanted to do a little more rewriting. But my plan is still July of this year, so stay tuned for that book because it’s the next on my list.

In the meantime, enjoy Hayden’s Dilemma over here. And as always, if you want to help out, the best way to help independent artists is by leaving reviews or telling a friend. For the Teristaque Chronicles, it’s easy to tell a friend because the first story is free.

Thank you all for your support!

PS: ORION is going to be on sale for 99 cents from 3/31/19-4/7/19! That book happens to be one of my personal favorites.

Kickstarter Update #4

It looks like the project was not successfully funded. However, I am amazed at the support that I did get. We raised $1112! That’s actually enough for me to get the book out with a little bit of nipping and tucking on some of the cover art and editing services. However, because I’m still at home with a broken leg. I need to focus on my injury and getting better. The break happened about a day after I launched, so perhaps it was never meant to be. Either way, I will get the book out and your help would be tremendous in doing so.

What I’m going to do is move the operation from Kickstarter to Patreon. They have a way where you can support me per project. So you chip in and a certain level, and you’ll get a reward similar to the ones offered here and it will only charge when a book is ready to go. I’ll be reaching out again when the Patreon page is up and running (sometime maybe when I can walk again so I can get to the post office to mail those books 🙂 ).

Thank you all for your support! It really meant a lot to see the all the folks backing this project. If you’re looking for something to read in the meantime. I’m going to make the first short story I ever wrote free (2/6/19-2/10/19). It’s called Time Beast and it pairs with song I wrote (and “sang”) for a metal prog band. Which, psst, you can download the who album for free by clicking on “buy” and entering in zero for the price.

Also, consider joining my email list, you’ll get a free book and short story just for joining!

Hope you enjoy the freebies and I’ll reach out when I’m ready to launch the Patreon.

Kickstarter Update 3

The saga of the leg continues. Though there is not much to report as healing takes a long time with a broken bone. Other than I read a science article about how doctors may be leaving people immobilized longer than necessary for broken bones. However, the study that was done was for ankle fractures that didn’t require surgery. Since mine was not an ankle and did get surgery, the study didn’t really pertain to me. However, that made me think about part of why I love science fiction comedy.

If I read an article about people staying in braces for too long and proceed to screw up my broken bone even worse because I didn’t really understand the science behind the study, that’s comedy! It’s the same reason one hears that a food might be the ticket to the fountain of youth one day and the cause of cancer the next. What fails to translate is the fountain of youth was a study done on mole rats, and the cancer was a chemical found in the extract of the food that screws you up when taken in 500k the normal dose.

The point is that The Robin Hood of Couches is comedy about what happens in between the lines. When you dig and poke at something further what happens next. The difference between science and science fiction is that science might not have all the answers, and it can at least admit its limitations, whereas science fiction never admits that it was wrong or made a mistake. Once something in a science fiction is reported as fact, all the characters go along with it. I wonder if Midichlorians was peer reviewed?

So, where’s that bone regeneration tricorder from Star Trek that will have me walking the next day? That’s the reality I’m going with.

In Kickstarter news, we didn’t quite make 60%. But I’m still going to give you something for free. For the next few days, my short story collection of the first things I ever published will be free on kindle (it was a challenge to myself to write and publish one short story a month for a year). I also will discount Time Burrito to 99 cents (US and UK only) 1/29/18-2/5/18. And now’s the time to pledge money to the Kickstarter if you haven’t already. Now’s the time to share with a friend. We are on the last week. You can do so here.

I thank everyone for their support.

Kickstarter Update 2

I had a funny realization this past week. It may be the drug induced haze from returning from surgery for my busted leg, but my brother made a good point. He said, “So about this Kickstarter you’re doing? Robin Hood of Couches. You’re writing it because your stuck on a couch all day?”

“No,” I responded, “I already wrote the book and planned the campaign well before all of this happened. Fate just handed me a more specialized relationship with couches than most.”

“Well, I hope you get your Robin Hood.”

Which made me realize, you all are my Robin Hood! Surgical pain is not fun, nor is sitting on the couch all day. But seeing the support The Robin Hood of Couches has gotten has been amazing. I haven’t been able to do much since most of the week, I was in pain or too out of it from the drugs and yet people are still supporting the project!

We are not quite there yet, but as a show of my appreciation, I’m going to put the kindle edition of Othello and Zombies for free on Amazon (22nd-26th only), and if we get to 60% funding by next week, I’ll make Time Burrito free. That’s my most popular book by leaps and bounds.

If you haven’t supported the kickstarter, you can do so here.

Also, if you want to help, tell three people about it. They may just be jazzed by it enough to give you jazz hands.