The Juice

I am not really a pill person. In fact, I don’t really know anyone who is a pill person: Waiter: Welcome Pharmanoodles where we have pills and noodles. Woman: I’ll have the Pad Thai… wait, you have pills! I’ll just take pills. I guess Meth Addicts would be more of a pill person: Meth Addict:Continue reading “The Juice”

Land of Quantum Entanglement

New Mexico asks an important question of all of us: Red or Green? The question is so important to New Mexicans, they’ve actually gone so far as to make the choice of red or green the actual state question. Unlike Arizona, where the state question is “Immigration papers?” For those who live outside New Mexico, youContinue reading “Land of Quantum Entanglement”

A Historical, Transcultural, and Sacrilicious Perspective on Gluten Free

The US could really take a lesson in hospitality from the Irish. For example, there is a little protein called gluten found in wheat, barley, and rye that causes excessive burping and anal leakage in my digestive system; This condition is commonly known as TMI. When I ask an American server about gluten free options,Continue reading “A Historical, Transcultural, and Sacrilicious Perspective on Gluten Free”

The Tacos Are Nigh

The bible tells us that the world will end. The bible also tells us that if someone rapes our daughters, the rapist can marry them if they pay off the father. But let’s ignore the fact that the bible can be wrong on some occasions and assume the world will end. One of the signs of theContinue reading “The Tacos Are Nigh”

What’s Better Than a Food Fight?

My wife cringes at the thought of printing food. Whereas, I rejoice in the idea that I can simply click “Yes” to the question: Computer: Would you like to print dinner? Me: Yes. Computer: Are you sure? Me: Yes. Computer: I don’t think I believe you. Me: Just print the food. Computer: Is that allContinue reading “What’s Better Than a Food Fight?”