I am not really a pill person. In fact, I don’t really know anyone who is a pill person: Waiter: Welcome Pharmanoodles where we have pills and noodles. Woman: I’ll have the Pad Thai… wait, you have pills! I’ll just take pills. I guess Meth Addicts would be more of a pill person: Meth Addict:Continue reading “The Juice”
Category Archives: Health
5 Spam-Based Realities
Spam mail seems to be disconnected from reality. I know it’s computer generated mass email but imagine if it was real. The world would be a much funnier place. 1. There would be at least 20 African billionaire princes dying every year who need American banks accounts to transfer their wealth-which would mean that Africa would beContinue reading “5 Spam-Based Realities”
25 Reasons to Fire Your Therapist
1. “Sounds like you have a sleep disorder. Better take this pill, chain yourself to the bed at night, and don’t forget to leave your home address with the receptionist.” 2. He follows up all his advice by yelling the word, “NOT!” For example, “It’s perfectly normal to be anxious, NOT!” or “You are feelingContinue reading “25 Reasons to Fire Your Therapist”
Therapy in Prison (Not The Rapey)
I am not really a vengeful person. I don’t really see the point of punishing criminals. I am not saying we should hand out some “Get Out of Jail Free” cards: Parole Officer: You’ve stabbed thirteen inmates, run the in-house drug smuggling, and raped 53 including the warden. What makes you think you’ll ever see the light ofContinue reading “Therapy in Prison (Not The Rapey)”
10 Ways to Cheat on Your New Years Resolutions
We always talk about keeping our New Years resolutions. Why not find ways to break them? 1. Quit Smoking – A friend of mine’s father “quit smoking” by smoking on the side of the house. The side yard was a like a cigarette butt apocalypse. My friend explained, “My mom never goes in the sideContinue reading “10 Ways to Cheat on Your New Years Resolutions”
Time Burrito 