Halloween and the Knights of the Round Table

            With Halloween around the corner, you should be scared and shit. If you aren’t scared, then here is a tale to chill your boner and your bones too! Narrator: It was a dark and stormy knight named Josh. He was the long lost cousin of Lancelot. Most people thought he was a cheese dickContinue reading “Halloween and the Knights of the Round Table”

A Historical, Transcultural, and Sacrilicious Perspective on Gluten Free

The US could really take a lesson in hospitality from the Irish. For example, there is a little protein called gluten found in wheat, barley, and rye that causes excessive burping and anal leakage in my digestive system; This condition is commonly known as TMI. When I ask an American server about gluten free options,Continue reading “A Historical, Transcultural, and Sacrilicious Perspective on Gluten Free”

Happy End of the World Holidays

I usually take the month of December off from blogging. Due to some special Spiral related projects, my month will start now. I also always leave you with some catchy phrase you can cut and paste into your Christmas emails: “Santa scares me. That creep watches me while I’m sleeping. He knows when I’m awake! SoContinue reading “Happy End of the World Holidays”

Won’t Change the World Thanksgiving Special

I am thankful for many things in 2012. With plenty of food, a roof over my head, decent healthcare, and a loving wife, there are plenty of thanks to be giving. However, I have to ask myself. Am I truly celebrating Thanksgiving like pilgrims did? I am not. In order to truly celebrate Thanksgiving likeContinue reading “Won’t Change the World Thanksgiving Special”

10 Ways to Keep Your Child Safe from Sexual Predators

While children are in no greater risk from sexual predators on Halloween than any other day of the year, better safe than sorry. Here are some tips to avoid sexual predators this Halloween. 1. Rig your kid with explosive paint dye. Use that dye they put in fake bills for bank robberies. 2. Adopt Newt GringrichContinue reading “10 Ways to Keep Your Child Safe from Sexual Predators”