My Three-Year-Old Is a Barbarian and Other Parenting Problems

My first comedy fantasy novel is now live on Kindle Vella which means you can start reading it today over here. Since this is a new product, there are a few things you should know. First off, if you enjoy what you read. Hit the thumbs up and fave buttons. You can only fave something once per week. You can thumb up anything. I’d appreciate some thumbs up and faves if you like what you’ve read.

Second, you need to buy tokens to read beyond the first three stories. Amazon will get you started with some free tokens, so it’s of no risk to you to check out the story. I have two Vellas up, and here are the descriptions (right after this cool picture of a barbarian):

Now on Kindle Vella.

My Three-Year-Old Is a Barbarian and Other Parenting Problems
Some jerkwad moon mage shoves the consciousness of Petra’s three-year-old into the body of a full-grown barbarian. Petra’s stuck in a halfling. There are pissed-off rangers, angry giants, a pompous vampire, and a necromancer out to kill her and her child. Despite being caught in a world where everything threatens to shuffle off her mortal coil, the hardest part is convincing a hulked-out man that the battle axe is not a toy, orcs are not cuddly, and that he should use the potty. New episodes every Friday.

The Theft
F hired me to do a straightforward job, but there was a slight snag in the operation when what I stole was stolen from me. Three goons showed up at my door to not so politely tell me that I have 24 hours to deliver F’s goods or my body will never be recovered. New episodes every Wednesday.

Also, Atmospheric Pressure 3 goes live tomorrow.

I appreciate you going with me on this journey and during this pivot. And if you’ve been enjoying what you read from me, now’s the time to hit those like and fave buttons. There is also a way to follow the story so you’ll get notified each time one drops. I probably won’t get another chance to be a part of the launch of a new platform, so I appreciate your help.

And please share the links with a friend.

Thank you for your support.

Last Call for Atmospheric Pressure 3

Atmospheric Pressure 3 is ready to go, and you have just four days to secure your Patreon members only edition. What’s special about it? First off, it’s all three books in one big volume (you can’t even buy all three for the patreon price). Second, it will be shipped early June, the digital version will be ready for download sooner than that. Third, your name will appear in the back as one of the people who so graciously help me pay for editors and cover artists.

Lastly, it’s a very limited print run. I only ship the amount of books I sell, then unpublish the Patreon edition forever. The Robin Hood of Couches special edition only has 5 in existence, and I even gave my copy away to a fan for being awesome, so there is a good chance I won’t even have a copy of the special edition of my own book! You have until May 25th to secure a copy here. After that, the chance to get all three Atmospheric Pressure novels for one low price is gone forever.

In the meantime. Enjoy the cover art. (I really love this one).

My Plans for Kindle Vella and a Free Story for Cinco de Mayo

It’s been a while since my last post. Despite my blog silence, I have three projects in various stages of completion. The one I’m most excited about is My Three-year-old is a Barbarian and Other Parenting Problems. It’s a comedy fantasy story that I started back around the time I was getting The Robin Hood of Couches finished. My completion of the story couldn’t come at a better time.

Amazon is introducing a new platform, and my story will be there on launch day. It’s called Vella, and while the idea is not new to the internet, it is new to Amazon and represents the opportunity for me to be there when the doors open for the first time. The cover artist who created the Atmospheric Pressure Three image is already well on his way to creating an image for the story. My editor is deep into editing it.

My hope is that you all will join me for the journey because it will be a different way to experience reading. First off, the story will be released in small chunks. Basically, it will be a chapter a week, but there should be plenty of chapters for you to devour when the doors open. The first three installments are free, but then there will be a pay wall for the rest. From what I can gather it shouldn’t be too much to continue reading, pocket change.

In the meantime, Atmospheric Pressure 3 is almost ready to go. Sign up at Patreon if you want the special edition that includes all three books in one volume and early access to the story. 

And now for some Cinco de Mayo freebies and fun! My horror novella, Desert During Day of the Dead, featuring cover artwork by a talented New Mexico artist will be free on kindle, among others. You can see the full list on my author profile and sorting by price.

In addition to the freebies, each book of the Time Burrito series will be 99 cents! It’s a great time to pick up an entire series for $3 or maybe gift them to a friend who you think might want some fun reading this summer.

I’ll be touch when the Kindle Vella is open to the public. In the meantime, have a ruckus Cinco de Mayo.

Atmospheric Pressure 3 Cover and More

The kindle edition of Tuners is free until 3/20/21 to celebrate the audiobook release. The eBook of 2 and 3 are only one dollar each, so the entire trilogy is $2! If you missed out on the free audiobook codes. Guess what? There is still more left! Get them while you can by replying to this email.

If you already read Tuners and enjoyed the book. Consider leaving a review or sharing it with a friend. Those are the two best ways to help out independent authors.

And now without further ado, the cover art of Atmospheric Pressure 3, and I’m going to say that it’s my favorite cover art so far. Phil Hughes, the cover artist, did an amazing job: 

I am very lucky to have patrons to help fund cover art and editing fees. If you’d like to be one of those people, and get a special edition of Atmospheric Pressure 3 that includes all three books in one, consider becoming a Patreon member.

A New Fantasy Novel

Creepy HouseI know. I know. I’m supposed to be telling you right now that the third and final Atmospheric Pressure novel is coming out, and it will. I’m finished. I’m delaying the release because I want it done right. I have some really awesome cover art, and haven’t even sent it to the editor yet. Mainly because I’m waiting for royalties to come in order to pay those folks.

You can contribute to paying my editor and cover artist by signing up for Patreon. Each time I release a book, you get a really cool special edition. In the meantime, check out the Tuners audiobook. My narrator, Sean Winkless-Hall, is really good. It’s just cool to listen too.

And finally, why the spooky picture of Pittock Mansion in Portland, Oregon? Well, my next book is a Fantasy novel, about some teenagers from the Portland area who get sucked into an adventure by and evil overlord who lives with his highly critical mother. Yep, if you haven’t guessed, I’m a writing a Time Burrito style fantasy novel.

It will have Orcs, Goblins, Elves, Dwarfs, wizards, spells, sword fights, and captains who decapitate their underlings. What’s a good fantasy novel without bullying some underlings? It’s nothing like I’ve written before, and I’ve already release tidbits on Twitter. Look for my posts labeled Sneak Preview.

If Time Burrito made you laugh, I’m hoping this one will make you poop yourself (except not really because I don’t want to be sued over soiled undergarments). Pay attention to this space. More will come.