My Patreon Page

It’s been a while since I last contacted you all because two things needed to happen. I needed to be able to walk again (check) and The Robin Hood of Couches needed to be complete (check). If you recall, back in January we raised over $1000 for The Robin Hood of Couches on Kickstarter, but the campaign didn’t fund its overall goal, so I didn’t get any money.

Instead of funding the book through Kickstarter where I don’t get any money, I’m switching to Patreon, where I get what you generously donate regardless if it is only 1 person or 100. I’m hoping that you’ll donate at the same level you did for The Robin Hood of Couches, and you’ll get the same reward. The best part is that Kickstarter had some eye popping shipping fees, I’m going to eat the shipping fees myself, and you’ll get the book for $25 no extra cost for shipping international or otherwise!

In order to keep the shipping low enough for me to do that, I’m going to have to add $10 to the price for signed copies (because I need to ship those books I sign to me, then pay another fee to get it to you). For $35, I’ll sign it and write you a personal message. Part of the benefit of becoming a patron is that people ask me all the time how to get my books in ePub, well this is your chance. The Advanced digital copies will be available in MOBI, ePub, and PDF.

Finally, for those who had picked the rewards to be characters in the book. I can’t do it for this book because I scrimped and saved and have already sent it to a professional editor. But if you get the reward level of minor or major character, I’ll make sure I get you as a character in a future book, as well as getting a signed copy.

The best part about Patreon is that if you like my work, you can continue to donate to each project I do, and it only charges you when I release a new book. Don’t worry, I’ll always let you know when a new book is on the way, so you’ll have time to opt out if the next one isn’t for you. However, right now I only publish about two books a year so that it only costs you $50 a year to help me provide high quality editing, cover art, and all the things that make a book shine. And who knows, if I get more supporters down the line, maybe I’ll publish more than two a year.

Thank you all for your support and you can go here to support me and get The Robin Hood of Couches as your reward and ORION as a the bonus digital book if you choose that level. In order to get this exclusive offer, you’ll need to sign up before 7/25/19. Let’s see if we can blow that Kickstarter campaign out of the water!

Thank you again for your support.

Kickstarter Update #4

It looks like the project was not successfully funded. However, I am amazed at the support that I did get. We raised $1112! That’s actually enough for me to get the book out with a little bit of nipping and tucking on some of the cover art and editing services. However, because I’m still at home with a broken leg. I need to focus on my injury and getting better. The break happened about a day after I launched, so perhaps it was never meant to be. Either way, I will get the book out and your help would be tremendous in doing so.

What I’m going to do is move the operation from Kickstarter to Patreon. They have a way where you can support me per project. So you chip in and a certain level, and you’ll get a reward similar to the ones offered here and it will only charge when a book is ready to go. I’ll be reaching out again when the Patreon page is up and running (sometime maybe when I can walk again so I can get to the post office to mail those books 🙂 ).

Thank you all for your support! It really meant a lot to see the all the folks backing this project. If you’re looking for something to read in the meantime. I’m going to make the first short story I ever wrote free (2/6/19-2/10/19). It’s called Time Beast and it pairs with song I wrote (and “sang”) for a metal prog band. Which, psst, you can download the who album for free by clicking on “buy” and entering in zero for the price.

Also, consider joining my email list, you’ll get a free book and short story just for joining!

Hope you enjoy the freebies and I’ll reach out when I’m ready to launch the Patreon.

Kickstarter Update 3

The saga of the leg continues. Though there is not much to report as healing takes a long time with a broken bone. Other than I read a science article about how doctors may be leaving people immobilized longer than necessary for broken bones. However, the study that was done was for ankle fractures that didn’t require surgery. Since mine was not an ankle and did get surgery, the study didn’t really pertain to me. However, that made me think about part of why I love science fiction comedy.

If I read an article about people staying in braces for too long and proceed to screw up my broken bone even worse because I didn’t really understand the science behind the study, that’s comedy! It’s the same reason one hears that a food might be the ticket to the fountain of youth one day and the cause of cancer the next. What fails to translate is the fountain of youth was a study done on mole rats, and the cancer was a chemical found in the extract of the food that screws you up when taken in 500k the normal dose.

The point is that The Robin Hood of Couches is comedy about what happens in between the lines. When you dig and poke at something further what happens next. The difference between science and science fiction is that science might not have all the answers, and it can at least admit its limitations, whereas science fiction never admits that it was wrong or made a mistake. Once something in a science fiction is reported as fact, all the characters go along with it. I wonder if Midichlorians was peer reviewed?

So, where’s that bone regeneration tricorder from Star Trek that will have me walking the next day? That’s the reality I’m going with.

In Kickstarter news, we didn’t quite make 60%. But I’m still going to give you something for free. For the next few days, my short story collection of the first things I ever published will be free on kindle (it was a challenge to myself to write and publish one short story a month for a year). I also will discount Time Burrito to 99 cents (US and UK only) 1/29/18-2/5/18. And now’s the time to pledge money to the Kickstarter if you haven’t already. Now’s the time to share with a friend. We are on the last week. You can do so here.

I thank everyone for their support.

Kickstarter Update 2

I had a funny realization this past week. It may be the drug induced haze from returning from surgery for my busted leg, but my brother made a good point. He said, “So about this Kickstarter you’re doing? Robin Hood of Couches. You’re writing it because your stuck on a couch all day?”

“No,” I responded, “I already wrote the book and planned the campaign well before all of this happened. Fate just handed me a more specialized relationship with couches than most.”

“Well, I hope you get your Robin Hood.”

Which made me realize, you all are my Robin Hood! Surgical pain is not fun, nor is sitting on the couch all day. But seeing the support The Robin Hood of Couches has gotten has been amazing. I haven’t been able to do much since most of the week, I was in pain or too out of it from the drugs and yet people are still supporting the project!

We are not quite there yet, but as a show of my appreciation, I’m going to put the kindle edition of Othello and Zombies for free on Amazon (22nd-26th only), and if we get to 60% funding by next week, I’ll make Time Burrito free. That’s my most popular book by leaps and bounds.

If you haven’t supported the kickstarter, you can do so here.

Also, if you want to help, tell three people about it. They may just be jazzed by it enough to give you jazz hands.

Kickstarter Update 1

I have some good news and bad. First the good, Kickstarter marked The Robin Hood of Couches as a project they love! The bad is that I broke my leg and am going to go to surgery on Monday. No, I’m not joking. I slipped on ice and busted my tibia. So now I get metal plates to become more machine than man (ok, so maybe triggering airport scanners for the rest of my life) How will this affect the project? Maybe some delays but nothing too serious. Either way, the break has gotten in the way of me promoting as much as as would like. So even though we aren’t at 25%, I’m going to give out a free book anyway. The Teristaque Chronicles are free on kindle until the 17th!

If you haven’t yet supported the Kickstarter, you can do so here.

There are also some other projects going on at Kickstarter by some other great authors. Check it out here.

If you want to help me spread the word, tell three people who might want to be a part of this Kickstarter. They’ll love you forever and ever and ever and ever until you escape from their basement.

Thank you,


The Kickstarter Has Launched

frale_banner_templateaThe Kickstarter for the sci fi comedy murder mystery The Robin Hood of Couches is finally here! And now’s your chance to get this exclusive edition and see your name in the acknowledgements at the end of the book. For just $25, you’ll get a physical copy, an eBook of ORION and The Robin Hood of Couches, a never before released short story, and your name at the end of the book. There’s even more rewards for those who want to be in the book as a character!

You can check it out here.

And guess what? I want to throw in something extra for all of you. If we get to 25% funded by next week. I will make every story in the Teristaque Chronicles free on kindle!

If you want to see it happen and get some free stories. Tell three people who might want to be a part of this Kickstarter. They’ll get a “kick” out of the book (pun intended).

If you are located outside the US, there is a $14 shipping fee and $6 for inside. I wanted to make you aware because I know I have a lot of folks who support me from all different parts of the world. I attempted to negotiate a better price, but ultimately couldn’t do so. I wanted to at least let you know.

The Robin Hood of Couches – Chapter 2

Here’s a sneak peak at the first chapter of my new book: The Robin Hood of Couches. It will be exclusive to Kickstarter in January. You can preview it here. Keep in mind, this chapter hasn’t been to the editor yet:

The academy never prepared Reese for the smell of a body. It was a putrid foul odor that was worse than the time he had found week old leftovers from a steak house underneath the seat of his car. Since he hadn’t known what inside the foil surprise baked by the sun, he had unwrapped it and puked. The body of the man festered in drainage pool. The victim’s beard was matted and infested with bugs. According to the display hovering in the air in front of him, the DNA match was for Derrick Yusuf, a delivery handler for MotoCom. According to his supervisors, the man took a week off without giving a reason why before he died.

The local detective walked right into the display. Normally, it was rude to walk into other people’s displays but Reese had set it to private so no one could see what he was seeing. The screen hovering in front of him was only in his field of vision. The cop poked at Reese and said, “Do you need to puke?”

“No, I’m fine.” Reese’s stomach had come a long way since the tin foil surprise, but that didn’t stop the smell from the loss of his appetite the rest of the day, which was unfortunate. His girlfriend treated him to this new Russian place with the best perogies in the city, and he didn’t eat a bite, claiming illness rather than relive the memory of the smell with her.

“I’m surprised. All you corporate types puke your first time out.” The detective said.

“Most of my colleagues are here to expose fraud and get big paycheck when they find the C.F.O. skimming of the top and don’t usually muck around with dead bodies.” Reese said.

“I don’t think you’ll get a big paycheck from this guy.”

“I’m here to find the truth.”

“What? You didn’t get into Corporate Investigations for the finder’s fees and the big payday?” The detective rolled his eyes. “If you wanted to make difference in the world, you should come collect the city paycheck with us.”

“Then I wouldn’t have the access to the best equipment. And I couldn’t afford those subscriptions on a cop’s salary.”

“It’s the gadgets he says. Yeah, yeah, you’ll be driving your Maserati at the track on weekends. We appreciate the funding CI gives us but try to remember this is a crime scene. That’s a real person, and don’t touch anything.” The cop walked out of the screen view, and the Derrick’s information came back up on the screen. His crawler was now downloading social media info. Mr. Yusuf apparently had liked to cure his own meats and make his own cheeses. It was an esoteric hobby when everyone’s entire house was giant 3D printer these days.

Unlike the officer’s misgivings, the truth of the situation was that Reese enjoyed the tech available to even the lowest level investigator, but it wasn’t the real reason he decided to attend the CI Academy. A school that only admitted .03% of the applicants every year. He suffered through the sleepless nights of study, grueling physical training, and endless skills training because he really wanted to make a difference in the world.

When the CI’s weren’t driving their Maserati’s at the tracks on weekends, they were making the world a better place. It was a high-profile CI who brought down the most notorious drug lord that made crime bosses of the past like Guzmán and Capone look like the awkward kid brother. CI’s brought down an entire terrorist network that almost snuck a dirty bomb into the Olympics.

A lot of people criticized the CI’s and said they were only out to protect their bosses’ payday, but no one ever talked about that by protecting corporate interest, the people’s interest were protected too. The cop wouldn’t understand any of it. He’d think Reese was CI chasing another payday, when the reality was that he cared just as much about solving the murder as the police did. However, that wasn’t the main reason why Reese was assigned the case. The victim had a couple of anomalous shipping reports.

Despite the cop’s fear, Reese wouldn’t need to touch anything to find out everything he needed to know. There were microprinted nanites swarming the scene, scanning everything, and uploading it to the CI cloud. They were spawned from a set of implants. The chip in his arm and ocular enhancers were top of the line. In fact, the injections wouldn’t even be available to the public for another five years and CI would have something beyond the general public by then.

While the profile of the murder victim was being built, Reese switched off and decided to take a look around the crime scene. It didn’t take a forensic scientist to figure out cause of death. The man’s head was caved in with blunt object. From the messiness of the wound, it wasn’t one strike, but many. Reese would confirm with the nanites later but that did tell him that his killer was upset at the time or was getting a twisted pleasure out of it. Reese ruled out pleasure because it didn’t have a serial vibe to it. Everything seemed hasty from the first blow, to the unceremonious dumping of the body.

From the looks of it, the body would have gone unnoticed for a while if a couple of kids hadn’t decided to race their sticks down the storm drain. According to the social media reports, the man didn’t have anyone close enough to report him missing. A regular gaming group grumbled at him on his social media when he didn’t show, but there were no police reports filed. The poor guy didn’t have anyone close enough, and from his phone and email records, he sparingly called home. CI were quick to file the documents for the release personal records, and it was even easier when there was a body. Reese was sure the local police didn’t even have email access yet.

There also didn’t seem to be much motivation in his social circle for his death. No one seemed to be more than lukewarm to him. That left the shipping reports that notified CI to investigate the potential profit loss. According to the report Mr. Yusuf was a Lead Mover for MotoCom’s automated shipping service. Since all vehicles were driverless, but robots were not quite ready to tackle the task of moving a package from the back of a truck into the unknown circumstances of someone’s home. The driverless trucks would park outside a house, and the movers would bring the package to the door.

The victim’s job was to sit in a truck all day and deliver packages when it stopped. Robots were no doubt already being conceived that could replace Derrick and his coworkers, but until the robotics companies could guarantee that a robot wouldn’t trample a kid playing in the lawn when it went to deliver a package, humans were still needed for deliveries, especially furniture. Derrick seemed to deliver a lot of it which was odd because people didn’t by much furniture, and companies didn’t really sell it all that much either.

The real money was in 3d printer schematics. All buildings after the 2030’s had 3d printing technology built into the very walls of the house. Companies sold people the right to use their designs for a subscription fee. The act of shopping for the latest designer trends became an antiquated thing of the past. People really didn’t own anything anymore. A Louis Vuitton couch was the digital right to reproduce it. As soon as the owner canceled their subscription, they no longer had the right to produce the furniture, so the 3d printers would strip it down atom by atom and use the material for something else. It was the ultimate in recycling.  Since most people 3d printed everything in their lives, Derrick’s job was a niche industry, dealing with folks who liked paying high prices to get stuff handcrafted.

The other odd part of the whole situation was that people very rarely had furniture shipped. People who did keep the shipping industry alive, did it because they would insist that 3d printed wine didn’t taste the same, or wanted a printed book signed by the author with little AuthetiDNA certificates that proved the author’s hand really did touch that page. It was mainly small objects that a collector or an enthusiast would pay absurdly high prices to prove that it’s molecules weren’t stacked up by a 3d printer.

A collector wanting furniture that didn’t come from a 3d printer had to have deep pockets. Reese bought a wine from vineyard once as a gift for his girlfriend, and it was easily the most expensive thing he ever bought in gift form. And in all honesty, when she wasn’t looking, he had the same wine 3d printed, and she could not tell the difference. He was of the opinion that the whole shipping industry was a gimmick to squeeze money out of rich people.

Regardless of his opinion, the furniture deliveries didn’t add up. Derrick delivered to many different addresses and never the same one twice. Each delivery was to a different name. Even the rich enthusiast didn’t have that many alternate identities. The only possibilities was that the mystery person was paying a new person every couple of days to receive the furniture and then coming to pick it up later, presumably, to hide its final destination, or the person was laundering money in which case having a Mover on the payroll might help.

If someone was trying to convert illegal money into legitimate transactions via a fake furniture company, they would have their work cut out for them. The truck had an internal scale that would track the weight coming on and off the truck, Mr. Yusuf would have had to hack that system and trick to believe that furniture was being delivered in addition to paying off all the other humans that might be on the truck to corroborate the story. A truck full of wine would be easier to fake than one full of furniture. At least there wouldn’t be any other humans on a given shift. Reese pulled the shipping history of the one of the shipments. The furniture was loaded on the truck at one of the mega warehouses that were originally constructed by Amazon. He’d have to do some digging to see where the furniture came from because the mega warehouses were world’s largest middleman and it wouldn’t be easy finding out where the furniture was coming from.

Reese was sure the murder and large influx of furniture had to be connected. Even though he wasn’t supposed to investigate the murder, he knew he’d be the one to figure it out. If he could leave the world a better place than he had inherited than he could count his new job as a win. The first step would involve checking out the last shipment Derrick ever delivered, an apartment full of furniture to a Tyrell Bryant. It couldn’t hurt to see if his hypothesis that Derrick was riding in an empty truck all day held up. His job would be easier if it was simple money laundering.