My Patreon Page

It’s been a while since I last contacted you all because two things needed to happen. I needed to be able to walk again (check) and The Robin Hood of Couches needed to be complete (check). If you recall, back in January we raised over $1000 for The Robin Hood of Couches on Kickstarter, but the campaign didn’t fund its overall goal, so I didn’t get any money.

Instead of funding the book through Kickstarter where I don’t get any money, I’m switching to Patreon, where I get what you generously donate regardless if it is only 1 person or 100. I’m hoping that you’ll donate at the same level you did for The Robin Hood of Couches, and you’ll get the same reward. The best part is that Kickstarter had some eye popping shipping fees, I’m going to eat the shipping fees myself, and you’ll get the book for $25 no extra cost for shipping international or otherwise!

In order to keep the shipping low enough for me to do that, I’m going to have to add $10 to the price for signed copies (because I need to ship those books I sign to me, then pay another fee to get it to you). For $35, I’ll sign it and write you a personal message. Part of the benefit of becoming a patron is that people ask me all the time how to get my books in ePub, well this is your chance. The Advanced digital copies will be available in MOBI, ePub, and PDF.

Finally, for those who had picked the rewards to be characters in the book. I can’t do it for this book because I scrimped and saved and have already sent it to a professional editor. But if you get the reward level of minor or major character, I’ll make sure I get you as a character in a future book, as well as getting a signed copy.

The best part about Patreon is that if you like my work, you can continue to donate to each project I do, and it only charges you when I release a new book. Don’t worry, I’ll always let you know when a new book is on the way, so you’ll have time to opt out if the next one isn’t for you. However, right now I only publish about two books a year so that it only costs you $50 a year to help me provide high quality editing, cover art, and all the things that make a book shine. And who knows, if I get more supporters down the line, maybe I’ll publish more than two a year.

Thank you all for your support and you can go here to support me and get The Robin Hood of Couches as your reward and ORION as a the bonus digital book if you choose that level. In order to get this exclusive offer, you’ll need to sign up before 7/25/19. Let’s see if we can blow that Kickstarter campaign out of the water!

Thank you again for your support.

I Ain’t No Folla Back Girl #amwriting

The twitter verse has a measure of success, the follower. Having a lot of followers means you are awesome! 50k followers means that there is a small city worth of people who hang on your every word and retweet your brilliant brainerisms (or Brianisms if you retweet your buddy Brian a lot). However, despite the overwhelming number of people receiving your twitter feed, you’re maybe lucky if one person favorites a post, and that person found it through a hashtag. That’s why I don’t follow people merely on the fact that they follow me.

What really matters in the social networking world are engaged followers. If person with 50k followers is following 50k people themselves, what are the chances that they’ll see one tweet among the thousands posted that day by their daily deluge of followers? A new follower means more when they followed you because they wanted to read your tweets rather than a numbers padding exchange.

She ain't no folla back girl too!

Gwen Stefani does not approve of mindless following.

I always seem to get new followers who follow many people themselves. They always unfollow me after a couple days when I don’t follow them back. Having high social networking numbers doesn’t mean anything if most of the people aren’t reading my tweets anyway. I’d rather have twenty people who are engaged, than 5,000 who also follow 5,000.

The secret behind growing your twitter feed with active people is pretty simple, engage your followers. Make sure you stop by their twitter feed to say hi, strike up a conversation, retweet something you enjoy, and most of all, don’t expect anything in return. An retweet pile of unengaged followers does nothing for you. However, a retweet because you think your followers may actually enjoy the material, that’s the key to interaction.

So follow me if you wish, but keep in mind I ain’t no folla back girl.

The Great Frozen Tundra of the North

It’s been a while since I’ve updated about my writing affairs, so I’m going to dump out all the information in this brand new shiny post. As many of you know, I switched gears from writing weekly humor posts to science fiction. I’ve also just finished writing the first draft of my second novel. For those of you who are anxious for the first, here’s a little dive into my world of writing. I love to do it. However, I have a family, so therefore I must work a job to support my family. I can’t take any time off to write. So my plan to increase the amount of writing time I have in a day is to attempt the traditional publisher route. I’ve sent the novel to all the traditional publishers open to unknowns and have been accumulating a stack of collectable rejection letters. If they all come back as rejections, I’ll self-publish my first novel in early 2015.

For those of you who have been following the Sperm Donor for a Cosmic Paradox series. It’s done! All four stories are up. Thank you for your readership. They are by far my most downloaded during the free download periods and the best sellers. I do plan to put all four (along with all the other short stories published) in one money-saving book. However, that’s another project to come early 2015. I need to save up for a professional editor first. While I do try my very best to provide grammar mistake free books, there always seems to be something. But rejoice! A grammar mistake that slipped through the cracks means you own a first edition!

Also, I will cease to become an Albuquerque based writer, and will be a Minneapolis based writer. My wife was accepted into a PhD program at the University of Minnesota, so I’m currently on the hunt for my day job out there. I don’t feel tied to any one location. The Sperm Donor series was located in Iowa because I visited a snowy rest area in Iowa when I went to visit my brother over Christmas. However, I felt it was necessary to write a book located in Albuquerque before I left, so my second novel is a humorous-science-fiction-magical-realism that takes place in a park where my girlfriend now wife and I used to walk our dog. For those of you worried about Spiral, don’t! Chris and I can record music anywhere. And Spiral has never played a live show yet, so the music process won’t change much.

So there you have it, and once again thank you for all of your support. I feel that the science fiction is getting more attention than the humor posts ever did. But for those of you who are a fan of the humor, despair not. My second novel is a sprinkler system of humor in addition to being one of the strangest things I’ve ever wrote.

Last but not very least, for those of you who want a small humor bite, check out my goodreads author profile. I’ve started a silly answer section where I will answer questions with ridiculous answers. You can check out my favorite silly answer here. Maybe submit a question while you’re there?